Wednesday, May 28, 2014

the way it is

I don't want her to be gone, but she is.
The sadness that overcomes me, a certain kind of melancholy
you realise you have run out of parents.
that you can visit them both in a cemetery

that my life is both emptier and fuller because she is gone
I stood outside her bedroom window last night
as the melodious harmonies from the Jamaah started "Mow lay ya sa"

and for a moment I wished she were there, inside, waiting for me to come in

but she wasn't and I was gutted.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Lessons : People

people are just fascinating creatures. I cant remember a time where I didn't try to understand them or anticipate their needs.

That has always been something that came very natural to me, to see people to try and walk in their shoes. I cant remember who told me that piece of advice "you don't know what they went through"

Being myself, I took that advice almost literally, while not walking in their actual shoes. I did try and do it in my mind. And the most surprising thing is, if you're really open to understanding others. you will see and understand their point of view.

While the concept of people watching is something that can keep me busy for hours on end. I fear I sometimes get sucked into their stories. Like a method actor meets matrix meets inception. I don't always know what's real and when I'm being messed with.

While I do try to be more suspicious, my nature to believe is a strong one, and I am not sure its a habit I want to change. While the world and people try and tell me that I shouldn't take their word.
I also know that some people are exactly what they tell you they are.

So I have some thoughts on what I have learnt about people:

1. Most people crave acceptance for who they are (almost everything I will list comes back to this]
2. Everyone will try and manipulate situations to their benefit [this doesn't make them evil]
3. Passive Aggressive people will say and do things to get a reaction from you, but mostly do it for the attention (see point 1)
4. People are afraid of being themselves.
5. Social and emotional cues are learnt, but some people never get it. (so you can school or sneer at them - your choice depending on how much of a tool bag you are)
6. Bravado and bullshit are the insecure persons best weapons, try to look pass this.
7. Give people a second chance at a first impression