In my Mind

You will be disappointed

2012-02-03T14:37:00.002+02:00

Sooner or later, you'll ask for something or read something or expect something and you won't like what you get. You'll feel like I wasted your time, wasted your money or didn't meet your expectations.

Not just me, of course. Everyone. Even you. You will disappoint someone, and the organizations you depend on will disappoint you. Expectations keep rising, and promises keep being made. We keep bringing more magic into the world, but rising expectations mean that there's more disappointment as well.

That's part of the deal of being in the world.

The alternative, I'm afraid, isn't to choose a path where we make everyone happy and always exceed their expectations. Nope. The alternative is to hide, to fail to engage and to produce nothing.

A pretty easy choice.

Seth Godin

All hail the Islamic EFT

2012-02-01T15:43:00.001+02:00

I have been following the MJC debate regarding Orion with the same sort of fascination as some one driving past an accident on the road.

I believe I am going to see something horrendous but in most cases there is usually one distraught person in shock and angry commuters stuck in traffic give them judgy eyes for daring to have a bumper bashing on an already over crowded highway. I digress.

I am usually on the forefront of Halaal bashing, and that includes Muslims, their stupidity, forwarded emails and recent spate of BBM broadcasts.

Now give me my moment to to sermonise on my soap box because I have had it with self entitled muslims who think it's ok to throw money at everything and expect it to work.

These are my EFT muslims. I bitched to Nafisa about this in November last year. Never willing to be active citizens but always prepared to donate that R100 towards something else.

"Here's my money, but please don't fucking bore me with all these details about poor people and desitute neighbors and what not" <- This , this right here is the problem with the South African community.

Much akin to the sell-out Dubians. It might be shiny mofo's but its no less KAK.

Now the MJC has pretty much been left to the own devices for far too long and has not progressed in about 50 years. And are definitely not Y2K compliant. I have bitched about it's archaic methods and lack of involvement in every day life, most muslims are participating in.

Here's the kicker though, I have done FUCK-ALL to change this. I have not involved myself or added to the running of ANY of these muslim organisations. I have tried though in smaller ways. Most times I m met with lazy activitism of once again throwing money at things that seem like a good idea at the time but serve absolutely no one.

Now if every other 30 year old muslims [University Educated] I know, loudly proclaims that they want nothing to do with Islamic Istitutions. Makes you wonder, if we are not helping run these organisations.

WHO THE FUCK IS?

The MJC one of the oldest bodies is being fitnah'd about, Slandered, insulted as a daily occurrence on the interwebs and calling for it to be removed. Hold the Phone bitches

My issues are these:

Number one, these are actual people running these organisations and are being funded from the pittance you donate to a large extent. They work fucking hard to get the little that they do and you have the audacity to take his rizq from him. FUCK YOU Lazy muslims

Number 2: You get what you fucking pay for.
Yes you heard me, sub standard payments get sub standard work. Would you do everything expected of you and you get a salary of R1000 a month? No you fucking wouldn't

Deborah Patta is the devil, sent to the muslims through an Israeli Plot.
All I can say to this: Lay off the hashish bitches, it's fucking with your mind.

Every muslim is to blame for the shit the MJC finds themselves in. WE, you and I, CHOSE not to get involved. So we may have tasted the forbidden bacony bits. Get over it. [Probably tasted like Chicken]

Its all about the intention, if we believed it to be Halaal and consumed it. Short of God coming down and saying " Aasia that is pork, do not partake or I shall smite thee" it's probably ok.

Gods out there dealing with Aids and World hunger and you bickering about Halaal statusses of muslim businesses.
Anyone who doubts muslim establishments should just eat at home.

As for me, I will gladly continue servicing MJC certified Halaal business. Because I trust the system more than a silly individual.

And you lot, loud moronic Muslims, either get involved or shut the fuck up.

Sweet Misgivings

2012-01-23T11:21:00.000+02:00

I really really like you
but I dont think you're into me

2011 - the year end wrap up

2011-12-26T21:39:00.000+02:00

So I promised Nafisa I would do this this year end wrap up.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Participated in a photo-shoot that was all about me.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
like every other year I said quit smoking, I did for about 4 months
Diet - which is on goingand Adding Fitness to the list.
I plan on doing Midmar and the Otter trail.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Quietly. By myself, it's a new experience.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
Inhaca Island off Mozambique

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
An LED TV

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
well a weekend really last weekend of September I won a game show which meant I got to go on an amazing cruise and I won an Umrah trip.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Keep on swimmin' (Not a cop out, but rather that I didn't give up)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing myself [Not doing more for me]

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I tried to do a cartwheel and almost gave myself an anneurism.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
nothing

12. Where did most of your money go?
Bills Bills Bills

13. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Shake it off - Florence and the Machine.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Dance,Read and Sing out loud

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Wasting weekends sitting indoors.

16. What was your favourite TV program?
Top 3: Spartacus, Misfits, Game of Thrones.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yes, but more for what I allow them to make me feel about me.

18. What was the best book you read?
None

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ben Howard

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt2 - Purely because it was the end of the books that were prevalent throughout my 20's

21. What did you do on your birthday?
Had an amazing photoshoot with my friends.

22. What kept you sane?
As always – listening to music.

23. Who did you miss?
My dad - My rock, my guide.

24. Who was the best new person you met?
Not New but Kellen and Nafisa
Rediscovering old ones ( Shabs, J)
Ridwan Laher

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
Your time is precious

2011-12-22T13:21:00.000+02:00

When I read titles like A letter to Islam: we are women, not things: iLIVEFills me not with trepidation but as a muslim woman, my back is automatically up.I can't take away the experience this woman has had at the hands of the men in her life, but I fail to see how her generalisations make me want to empathise with her.In one swift article she has insulted me, my intelligence and disrespected my choice- yes my choice to remain muslim.My friend Saaleha said it perfectly. "it's tiresome we shouldn't have to apologise all the time"I am by no standards a feminist, islamist and detest the term moderate muslim. Yes South African Muslims are possibly the only nation of muslims that are allowed to practice freely, regardless of the sect they belong to. But I refuse to have to explain that EVERYTIME. She disrespects me by saying: No self-respecting woman can be Muslim.I can't fight for every muslim in the rest of the world, I can only change perceptions when I encounter them. I respect her right to state her opinion, much the same as I have the right to negate her statements.I will accept that people like her are scarred by their experiences but she doesn't speak for me. I am more woman today because I am muslim. It gave me rights, taught me bounderies and allowed me to find alternate means to express myself,to be educated, to be free.My Islam taught it to me. My Father lived it and the every other man I have met and or encountered respected it.

2011-12-05T17:12:00.000+02:00

The most beautiful thing I have ever seen was sarcasm
Stuck between your lips before it poured out all over the conversation.

The arch of your eyebrow and the tilt of your head
as the words you spoke remain unsaid

Is as far as I got with the thoughts in my head but it's written in the same tone as Jason

Mraz's Beautiful Mess

"A Beautiful Mess"

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks ‒ they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
'Cause here, here we are, here we are
Here we are [x7]

We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"

Through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth

And tides ‒ they turn ‒ and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today. Oh, the wait was so worth it.

un write

2011-11-04T23:00:00.000+02:00

I wish I could un-write and un-say many of my utterances
Broken and tied, I'm behind my own demise.

my own mastermind

Talking Snack!

2011-11-02T12:29:00.001+02:00

I was so excited that Sham was finally coming to Joburg and thought the best way to tell the story was the way I remembered it, through the food we planned to eat, did eat and wanted to eat but were too full!

Before you go any further, if you don't know who Sham is, you can fuck right off at this point. Because you should have clicked at the link above, saw her stuff and then kick yerself for not meeting her. and then proceed to read the rest of this blog in emerald shade of jealous green.

T-3 days till #shaminjhb happened, I offered my services for the day to show them around. We knew it was a limited time frame because of the time they were coming in and also a braai that night, had to be prepped for.

So we spoke about food, because well, food moves me. Decided we have to get samoosas for our walk about in the CBD, yes nay-saying joburgers the actual CBD.

But first the samoosa's, "World of Samoosas " in the plaza was the only place one should ever buy samoosas from oh and their butter chicken. Sham-dom (words she says that made me laugh)

Plaza Sham-dom " Like Gatesville but bigger and cleaner, but why is there a sign for no spitting?"
*I should mention at this point that her bruvva "M" was with, and man the conversation between us was ridiculous and funny. About one legged men, and gatesville.

Before leaving the plaza, we met fellow comedian Nqoba who is lank funny. But funnier still introducing them to him and have them say "Yeah I can't say your name"

We then motored ~~across~~ under the M1 bridge and drove through town all the way to Darkie Cafe because I love their complimentary ginger beer, which was to ginger-y for M but I loved it. The chicken wings was amazing and so was the decor, which made for the perfect photo-op for me and the Sham

Dont we look amazing? Anyhoo post our finger licking chicken winging, we parked at the Sci Bono centre and took a walk around ze block, passing the museum and Ko'spotong across Mary Fitzgerald square through the back parking of the market theatre and Sham took this amazing photo of some graffitti

Oh and the graffitti:

More amazing than my love of Joburg, was the amazing time I had with two amazing people.
I forgot what it was like to just hang out and not watch my words. Albeit the day started with a disclaimer of " You should know I am a bitch"

The braai was really really well done, courteousy of Sameer and it was the a spec fest except for Shoo's. She was amazing too, funny, smart and great company. All in all a 10/10 if this was the slamse version of come dine with me.

Then the guitar hero started. Saaleha rocked out with Rammstein's Du Hast and we then rocked out to Bohemian Rhapsody and I kicked faranaaz's ass with Can't Touch this.

Oh and Sham, Nafisa , Zunaid and Jawad kicked butt on guitar.

Boom, twas EPIC. Ah Ma Gahd, I survived #shaminjhb

Oh wait one more from Nafisa

The squeaky wheel gets the attention first.

2011-10-20T09:35:00.000+02:00

People I don't like are those with influence who can sweep in social change, and choose instead to cause dissent by creating an "Us and Them"

Malema went to Thembilihle which is a settlement close to Lenz. But Im not sure if I deserved to be surprised when he sticks to the above formula above. Except ofcourse the US - is now residents of the informal settlement and Them is played by the amaKula ( Derivative term for indian people, basically implying coolie)

While channeling his supposed Che Guevarra vibe while donning a beret. While I do believe local photogrpahers get a kick out of taking the worst photos of the man, I can't help but chuckle and say to them, let his words and actions do that.

Now Julius always operated with this M.O and ofcourse the US and Them changes according to the crowd and situation. Us - the youth of today.Them - the backward thinking leaders
Us black people - Them every one else.

Then he sings Dibhulu Ibunu but to ensure he doesn't offend, he doesn't actually say the word shoot/kill instead makes shooting sounds. Because the assumption that we don't speak vernac, we know the sound a bullet makes. Because in our communities in the south, at one point gun violence was truly out of hand.

Julius is the squeaky wheel, he plays to the crowd, speaks at their level and does so loudly and he has the ear,

Unless our leaders start creating sustainable plans, that can carry on regardless of the councillor/politician of the day. If all you have in mind is your own party's longevity, you are no longer for the people

Today is amaKula tomorrow is amaBoesman. We all will feel it

I can't do this anymore

2011-10-17T16:19:00.000+02:00

I realise now in retrospection, that I have been to free with my friendship, my loyalty and my time.

Giving it away without a single thought on wether those people deserve my efforts.

I know now, that because I am so different from the people and friendships I keep. That when the going gets tough, I get cut, hurt, bruised, not believed even worse become the accused.

I am the reason things fall apart, I ruin lives and I am at fault. Don't mistake me, I am not-worthy most days of some of the friends I keep, and that I am without a doubt the most flawed in the bunch. Maybe it's my upbringing, maybe the lack of education that makes me trust people completely, or that I don't question wether they believe me or stand up for me when I am not around.

I have been burned, I have been scarred and every time I aspire higher than my station in life. I am hurt or believed that I am not one of the collective.

The realisation today is that I never was part of the group and I am a groupie and worse is the realisation that I am treated like one.

I maligned a good friend who has faults as big as mine, and she has my back and supports me even at the worst of times. I am done making the effort to be with them, to socialise or call them. Because of things that have transpired, they now have to earn the right to be called a friend. They have to put in the effort, because I will not.

I can't be that girl anymore, that friend you only see when your regulars let you down and you need a quick hug, an encouragment or a willing ear. Rather be real with me about my faults, then play it down in my presence and talk about how I enraged you, when I don't pass your tests, or don't give the right response required.

I will always question everyone from now onwards, who I choose to call friend.

Because I am worth more, than what my friends have given me.

GRAPES!

2011-10-10T16:47:00.000+02:00

I don't understand it or not even sure where to begin but since my birthday 3 weeks ago I have craved grapes. Fresh off the bunch, in a glass, from a can. I don't care as long as I get grapes into my system.

I dont even know if it's healthy or unhealthy. I have managed to contain this unnatural tendencies to woolies 100% hanepoort and grapetiser and ACTUAL grapes.

What the hell is wrong with me? All I think about is grapes.

THEN I googled grape cravings and I almost(ALMOST!) feel the exact same:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090115164940AAtpUNs

http://www.30bananasaday.com/forum/topics/extreme-grape-cravings?xg_source=activity

http://thecultureoflove.blogspot.com/2007/01/grape-bender.html

Suffice to say I am NOT normal, but I am not alone

In the land of thin, the stick is king

2011-09-19T14:51:00.002+02:00

And the rest of us sizeable creatures are anomalies. I am

I had some pics taken yesterday with my friends and noticed that not only am I larger but the size difference is really big!

I am not at a point where I can write unemotionally or unbiased about my looks and weight. But although there is still much venom, disdain and venom reflected at my image from me. I can't help but note that my friends love me enough to support me as is, and not a perception of what others want to see.

More importantly I have fun with them and they dona't judge me.

Thanks to Jenty for the pics.
Thanks to Bumpy for the tutu's! They are amazing
To Kellen , Zahira, Denielle, Nafisa and Red John

So happy 30th old hag! you look utterly ridiculous and totally happy!

Guess which one I am? [yes, the bitch ruling the roost!]

The diet so far

2011-09-11T10:46:00.000+02:00

So after my first week of dieting, I thought I'd have a review on it.

I'm terrified that I will fail again and this time trying to not make a big deal out of it, but quietly doing my thing without trumpeting it to my friends.

My work colleagues have been absolutely amazing in supporting me, even though at cerebra we are renowned for our ability to chow down.

Things I got wrong this week:
1. Forgetting to take my measurements and weight. Which means I can't check if I lost anything.

2. Mixing up cheese and feta!
I'm allowed cheese everyday but feta only once a week.
3. Zahira handed me a jelly bean and said "omg you must taste this candyfloss flavoured one" and promptly stuffed it into my mouth. But Denielle "the vigilant" went " noooo Aasia, spit it out!!" And I promtly did

Things I got right:

Saying no to the bad stuff.

Actually sitting at a table covered with akhalwayas steak, patties,sausages, chips and other buttery homemade goodies and not.eating.a.single.bite!!

Surviving the ugliest detox headaches I have ever had.

Prepped all food for the next 2 weeks for all my meals!

I can't tell you how happy I am. That a week in, and I haven't fallen off the wagon!

Wish me luck!

Sent whilst mobile

Men to blame

2011-09-07T06:34:00.000+02:00

No, this isn't about hating men or looking down on them.
But all I have been reading recently is how my friends need to find husbands infact I got an Eid khutbah about getting married.

Firstly how can society put a sell-by date on a womans marriagability? When the prophet Muhammed(SAW) first wife was in her 40s?
Not only that, men, now more than ever refuse to look beyond the surface of a woman to understand her, see her qualities!

If men were chivalrous and treated woman with respect and dignity, most women I know would move heaven and earth to please that man.

When you search for a wife, like you do for accessories around your home, why then gentlemen are you surprised that, that is all she can do is be an ornament!?
Sent whilst mobile

Perception

2011-09-06T09:40:00.001+02:00

What we see when watching others, depends on the purity of

the window through which we look.

Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check

our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the

good rather than to be looking for something in the person we

are about to judge.