Simply Aasia

I never did mind growing up, I loved the idea of taking care of my self and being self sufficient. But I have travelled quite a colourful road. and have not emerged unscathed Not in the sense of im hurt and beat down, but that I am more aware of my life and my choices than I have ever been before. I am a woman of many contradictions and needs and wants and don't suffer fools any more. while I have a good idea of who I am and where I am going, there isn't an actual destination. The idea to to have something to work towards and being better. and search for love is always there. but I am not who I was 6 months ago, hell, Im not the same person I was 2 days ago. And Im ok. Standing still is for statues. And where is the adventure in that!

So we enter the second month of    #wia100healthydays  and while the first month was a bust in terms of eating clean. I did try my best to keep my eating "sort-of" healthy During Ramadaan and post that, I had to pack up my moms house, and the only thing that kept me from eating through my feelings was the fact that the house was a buidling site and everything was covered in dust. Which made it unappetising to even your biggest emotional eaters While I didn't lose much, (2 kgs) I gave myself a high 5 for not weighing the same as my fridge. I did get a shit load of strength training, by sanding and plastering walls, painting etc. But to get back into the swing of things, I signed up for the 360  30 Day Summer Body Program  which was offered at just R99 for the month. This is in conjunction with my walks and Sunday stair climibing at Rhodes Memorial  I want to win the challenge, purely because right about now, I could do with a win! Also on ...

This has been a tough year so far. I have learnt to embrace change and hold onto that fact tighter than anything else in the room. I cant explain where my head is at right now, or where its been. My grief at times has seemed insurmountable, and my joys short lived. But yet here I am, carrying on. I am in a state of change and not sure what's going to happen next. Its as if I've been on the merry-go-round and its spinning and the revolutions are slowing down enough that I can finally see a chance to step off. Which means I'm trying to control the crazy but doesn't mean I know what it is that I'm doing. I took sometime off to sort out my old home life and while we got the house ready for tenants, I did have a few emotional moments. We basically neutralised my old home and well its just a house now. I got back to CT yesterday and while this does seem to be my refuge right now. I am unsure of what the next year brings, my last few years have been about l...

June is a month that has been overshadowed by death and grieving and Ramadaan As I start coming to terms with my moms passing which has been a carnival ride on its own.  I search inwards and question upwards. A very good friend Ridwan  called me when he heard the news and offered words of comfort as I knew her birthday was coming up on the 2nd of July. He spoke me off an emotional ledge that Sunday night and helped me cope. Nothing prepared me for the phone call on that 2nd July my moms 69th birthday , from Ridi's colleagues to tell me that he succumbed to a heart attack on that very day. Allah grant him Jannah, he was an amazing man and I will sorely miss his counsel and witty remarks about life. We had a pact, that if by 2015 neither of us were married, we would marry each other. There was so much of him I saw in myself. and I will honour his memory by trying to be the woman he saw in me Ridwan wonderful you are following your river it flows freely w...

Its a month that you're gone today. I can't even believe it. I miss you

2014  was going to be the year I reinvented myself, and seems it still is. After getting really ill last year and being diagnosed with diabetes I embarked on a plan to change my life and get unstuck. while I have been eating better and getting exercising more, I needed a challenge something to push me and scare me. So a friend decided maybe I should enter the impi challenge  but how do I get from where I am now to a 12km obstacle race in October? Well I Am  Challenge you know they say success is when preparation and opportunity meet? I have been given the opportunity to participate in their 3rd Challenge and stand in line of winning a cash prize for the transformation challenge (weight loss) which starts on the 1st of July 2014 if you're keen on joining me. well i am 3   #WIA100HealthDays  contestants have 100 healthy days to transform their bodies, their habits and their lives. What you put in is what you get out; the more you try...

I don't want her to be gone, but she is. The sadness that overcomes me, a certain kind of melancholy you realise you have run out of parents. that you can visit them both in a cemetery that my life is both emptier and fuller because she is gone I stood outside her bedroom window last night as the melodious harmonies from the Jamaah started "Mow lay ya sa" and for a moment I wished she were there, inside, waiting for me to come in but she wasn't and I was gutted.