Simply Aasia

I've been struggling to articulate exactly how I have been feeling of late. Tired is the first word but it's not really the word I was looking for. I keep seeing everyone and I mean everyone trying to apply their brand or version of Islam on all of us. And I keep thinking, we aren't the same. It's the thing we disparage news outlets for, we aren't all the same type of believer. And my halaal: Haraam ratio might be different to yours, but does that mean we're the same or that we're different? Well to be fair, it's both. We're both sinning, we're just sinning differently. Let me tell you about life, it will beat you down, with health, wealth and mental load. And every beating has made me kinder in many regards but harsher in others. I used to believe that I was put on this earth to help. whether I was thanked or not. (how little did I think of myself?) What utter rubbish!  When I had oodles of time and energy, it didn't matter. But my ti

Virtue-signalling, for those who have never felt drawn to the term, is the apparently modern crime of trying to be seen doing the right thing. The implication is that the virtue-signaller does not really believe what they are saying but simply wishes to be admired as a good person. It is most often used against celebs who identify with more fashionable or liberal political causes such as feminism, gay rights, racial diversity or concern about climate change. I have yet to see a popular figure in Social Media in South Africa who have used their religion to (and keep up here) to perpetuate their version of Islam and super judginess on other Muslims. Both locally and abroad. You've heard of a humble brag but have you heard of the humble shame?   No? well... This is a new action, and certainly is the weapon of the new modern faithful muslimah hoping to correct another brother/sisters actions, using their version of what's culturally acceptable versus what they'

So since 2016, I've been mostly in Hijab and its tough. I know why I started wearing it, and it was to be a daily reminder to find better ways of being. Friends and Family, don't always understand. I'm "less progressive now" what they don't know is I will still call you a p03$ in a headscarf. but the point is that I WANT to be better, be more God-conscious. Heres the rub though. Sometimes I get sick and tired of trying to be a better person. It's too damn hard and especially since acceptance came easier outside of wearing hijab.  going out, showing my hair and wearing what I please. regardless of modesty. I miss not giving a fuck! Then I try to do not give a fuck and then I feel miserable. because my stupid ass knows better. I hate it sometimes because this means something different to others than it does to me. but these hijabi barbies will still fucking judge me for not wearing it the "right way" or the "IN the way" and for