Hijab - my weakness
So since 2016, I've been mostly in Hijab and its tough.
I know why I started wearing it, and it was to be a daily reminder to find better ways of being.
Friends and Family, don't always understand. I'm "less progressive now" what they don't know is I will still call you a p03$ in a headscarf. but the point is that I WANT to be better, be more God-conscious.
Heres the rub though. Sometimes I get sick and tired of trying to be a better person. It's too damn hard and especially since acceptance came easier outside of wearing hijab. going out, showing my hair and wearing what I please. regardless of modesty. I miss not giving a fuck!
Then I try to do not give a fuck and then I feel miserable. because my stupid ass knows better.
I hate it sometimes because this means something different to others than it does to me.
but these hijabi barbies will still fucking judge me for not wearing it the "right way" or the "IN the way" and for others, I'm too religious, I'm too conservative in my draping style.
Wearing hijab is tough on me, on my personality, and that's why I fight my nafs, because I know I have a bigger purpose outside of how I look. So stop judging others, that's why we see others with a double life.
Be unapologetically you. If you see me wearing hijab - don't comment and if you see me without- don't comment.
I know why I started wearing it, and it was to be a daily reminder to find better ways of being.
Friends and Family, don't always understand. I'm "less progressive now" what they don't know is I will still call you a p03$ in a headscarf. but the point is that I WANT to be better, be more God-conscious.
Heres the rub though. Sometimes I get sick and tired of trying to be a better person. It's too damn hard and especially since acceptance came easier outside of wearing hijab. going out, showing my hair and wearing what I please. regardless of modesty. I miss not giving a fuck!
Then I try to do not give a fuck and then I feel miserable. because my stupid ass knows better.
I hate it sometimes because this means something different to others than it does to me.
but these hijabi barbies will still fucking judge me for not wearing it the "right way" or the "IN the way" and for others, I'm too religious, I'm too conservative in my draping style.
Wearing hijab is tough on me, on my personality, and that's why I fight my nafs, because I know I have a bigger purpose outside of how I look. So stop judging others, that's why we see others with a double life.
Be unapologetically you. If you see me wearing hijab - don't comment and if you see me without- don't comment.
Comments
Seriously though, as long as you're trying, you're winning. And it's hard to ignore others, but i suppose it's part of the test to make you stronger. Think of Maryam a.s. coming back with a baby, and how strong she had to be - and how much honour we regard her with.
Draw strength from your relationship with the Almighty, because that's the most important thing that you'll ever have, and it'll pull you through insha-Allah.
Much respect.
May Allah keep you in his guidance and motivated in seeking His pleasure, In Sha Allah. Love you!