Simply Aasia

“I’m quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I often trip over my own insecurities. I require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air I breathe. I love hard and with all that i have and even with my faults, I am worth loving.” -Danu Grayson

In between the constant tinging of my phone and hooted car horns I find my self sometimes in moments of clarity between fleeting rainfalls and misty beaches sometimes I catch glimpses of myself Between wishes for love and soapboxing my glorious independance Sometimes there's a knock which I answer Between flirtatious repartee and honest confessions sometimes a hand is extended. Between ravernous hunger and steaming towers of food Sometimes I hunger for you Between flip flops in my tummy, and stuttering in my speech sometimes you see me

I have struggled over the last few months, to find something positive to write to about. I have been uninspired and couldn't be arsed about anything. I wanted to write but genuinely didn't want to put any more negative thoughts into the world and really well I needed a boost of some sort, Anyone who knew me as a kid, knew I couldn't stand still. I needed to move and dance and I genuinely communicated through interpretive dance. It drove my mom crazy I don't know if I lost that creative spark, or if by becoming more serious, but those random bursts of movement became less and less over the last 15 years (sad hey?) I then saw this article on a friends FB wall and I thought, maybe if I started dancing again, I would have the energy to return to gym and refocus my health efforts. It did so much more. From the time I stepped back into the Salsa class (which while it was recommended I buy dancing shoes, I was like err yeah lets see how the first month goes) ha! a...

I sought out to forget 2014 in its entirety. but inspite of the epic heartbreak I suffered. I learned so much My biggest lesson though, is no matter how well you think you plan. Allah is the ultimate planner I have no regrets, everything I have done has been my best attempt, and for the most part, thats all we can manage.  This isnt the end of my journey, just some exceptionally windy bits. People: 1. You can love someone so much and do nothing as they slip away,  I wish my mom was still here, but God called her, and I don't question it. But I miss her 2. Everyones journey is their own, no matter what your intention, some people have to find their way on their own 3. Loving someone isn't always enough. Hearts: 1. heartbreak is soul destroying 2.Recovery is possible 3. Embrace your vulnerablity Friends: 1. Forgiveness is easier when you love someone 2. Friends have big hearts, I couldn't have managed this last 7 months without them Family: I have a...

You know that treadmill feeling? You know, you're doing stuff but you're not getting anywhere in particular. What you are doing is treading water. That's the feeling I am currently sitting with, but I'm also sitting with many feelings actually. One that keeps rearing its head is grief. So I sometimes spend nights crying myself to sleep and feel emotionally drained the next day. Its a stage I have to experience and complete when the time is right. I am not being self punitive nor will I expect better. This is who I am right now. While I have learnt to embrace the brokeness of my life right now. There is an urge to start planning my exit strategy. (not of life, if you were worried, just this chapter) I am restless and while I see changes around me. Someone I had my heart set on (stupid) is in a great place and is happy, and has fuck all to do with me. And I am trying to manage it and the rejection implied, with grace. [this right here ladies and gentlemen is m...

my mission has always been to be happy with my lot in life. push the status quo, but be happy at every step, happy at any weight, happy in any place. I don't have the same type of optimism I had when I was younger, but I still believe in life's ability to surprise. There is just so much joy to be found, if only we stopped staring at the dark patch on the wall. I am both happier and sadder than I have ever been. Renewing ties with people I thought I would lose forever and solidifying those I have. More at peace at the person I am, who still stops to check these days if she is crossing lines or overstepping. heartbreak and fear and being told that over and over, makes it hard to canon ball with enthusiasm but I hope I am still that. Last night I was happier than I have been in a long while, and while sadness  (like a cloud, sometimes light and too far to cast a shadow, other times like a full on Jo'burg thunderstorm, your like a cape town winter, silently threaten...

I never did mind growing up, I loved the idea of taking care of my self and being self sufficient. But I have travelled quite a colourful road. and have not emerged unscathed Not in the sense of im hurt and beat down, but that I am more aware of my life and my choices than I have ever been before. I am a woman of many contradictions and needs and wants and don't suffer fools any more. while I have a good idea of who I am and where I am going, there isn't an actual destination. The idea to to have something to work towards and being better. and search for love is always there. but I am not who I was 6 months ago, hell, Im not the same person I was 2 days ago. And Im ok. Standing still is for statues. And where is the adventure in that!