Simply Aasia

I'm actually so hesitant to post this because I know some people will want more than I am prepared to give, say or do. But I can't be silent not so much about whats happened, but what I discovered about myself in the process. The thing that happened: I usually offer my services in digital marketing for free for fundraisers and people who do community work. So when a local religious (sheigh) leader asked to meet me to discuss a project. I thought nothing of it. I've met with plenty of them to know how to conduct myself. Side Note : as someone who has recently embraced Hijab, I understand there is additional scrutiny on how I conduct myself in muslim restaurants, especially with local scholars/leaders Flag 1 : said sheigh pitched up in casual clothes and I could smell the cologne on him and could see he had recently shaved and groomed. This made me nervous because the first thing he remarked on was how pretty I was. Flag 2 : he kept asking me, how long I was prep...

The beautiful scary thing is hidden away. Its sheer power to change who I am frightens me and gives me bravado to be myself, unapologetically. Every time I want to take this beautiful scary thing out and show it to the world, I know the world and I are just not ready. So back into the deep dark recess I keep you there, the beautiful scary thing, where I will visit you often and shine a bright light on you and love you and nurture you. That's when I realise, its not my job to present the beautiful scary thing to the world. That is for itself to decide. So I sit here waiting in anticipation for that day to come and I can announce to the world. I have loved you, beautiful scary thing, from the day I met you.

Takes a breathe lets go of the safe harbour spiralling into the depths Heart is strong but afraid Head keeps looking  back but can't turn around this,is.it

Do you know you're drowning? Can you even tell,  or like a slow boiled crustacean who is none the wiser to its surroundings Will you slowly be killed, suffocated and not even realise you could have just moved.

I've always been the good girl, the well behaved -its-the-right-thing-to-do girl. And somewhere along the lines, I got tired of it. I have lived my life out of fear. Fear that I wouldn't be enough, that I'd be too much, that I wouldn't crack it. My fear has taken many forms, people pleaseing, the mediator, the fence sitter and ofcourse the constant need for external validation. Now I sit here and I have taken my first "no take backs" adult steps.  And the world didn't crumble. While I am still fighting the internal fight with my old self. I have to constantly remind myself to be brave and bold because I am looking for a different outcome. So go on, be brave and do something that scares the shit out of you

“I’m quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I often trip over my own insecurities. I require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air I breathe. I love hard and with all that i have and even with my faults, I am worth loving.” -Danu Grayson

In between the constant tinging of my phone and hooted car horns I find my self sometimes in moments of clarity between fleeting rainfalls and misty beaches sometimes I catch glimpses of myself Between wishes for love and soapboxing my glorious independance Sometimes there's a knock which I answer Between flirtatious repartee and honest confessions sometimes a hand is extended. Between ravernous hunger and steaming towers of food Sometimes I hunger for you Between flip flops in my tummy, and stuttering in my speech sometimes you see me