Thought

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Sometimes you're your own worse enemy

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Gadat, Memories and Wishes

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Last night was a tough, beautiful night. I am attending ISR2018 International Spiritual Retreat in Macassar Cape Town hosted by the Mahabbah Foundation . And last night marked the start of the retreat itself. And as per tradition, we have a Mass Ratibul Hadad  locally known as a Gadat,which was so beautifully heartchingly recited. I come from Johannesburg, and much to peoples surprise here in Cape Town. I grew up with it, literally, my father had his own Jamaah and there isn't a memory of mine, where gadat didn't feature. Sundays and Thursdays were almost always for gadats, (which when all you wanted to do, was watch some TV and chill) but we did it. The recitation last night was like a kick in the gut. It created such a sense of longing of my father and my mother who have passed away. Using the same lagoo (melody) I closed my eyes and pictured my father and uncles sitting in the lounge facing the congregation and leading us while we jikr'd with rhythm. My chil...
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August 5 things I love

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Nafisa and I both did July lists and she beat me to the punch for August. 1.  After 6 months of renovation both inside and outside.  My favourite room in the house has to be the lounge/dining room purely for the colour choice Its Plascon cool spring  and the pictures by Jeanette 2.  Another wonderful addition to my "artwork collection" from the easel of   Shameema . I love the colours and she doesn't . (Terrible picture, I apologise it doesn't do the colours justice) 3. Finally a plus size section worth noting!! Yes there aren't many items, but a big jump from the old, "ouma" clothing available most places. You have no idea how long I have agonised this point. Mr Price Online  not only did it make shopping for my Eid clothes stress free. The Easy user interface and speedy delivery will make me come back. These are 2 of the 5 items I bought online. And they fit PERFECTLY 4. Ramadaan Photo a day Although you can b...
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Hijab - my weakness

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So since 2016, I've been mostly in Hijab and its tough. I know why I started wearing it, and it was to be a daily reminder to find better ways of being. Friends and Family, don't always understand. I'm "less progressive now" what they don't know is I will still call you a p03$ in a headscarf. but the point is that I WANT to be better, be more God-conscious. Heres the rub though. Sometimes I get sick and tired of trying to be a better person. It's too damn hard and especially since acceptance came easier outside of wearing hijab.  going out, showing my hair and wearing what I please. regardless of modesty. I miss not giving a fuck! Then I try to do not give a fuck and then I feel miserable. because my stupid ass knows better. I hate it sometimes because this means something different to others than it does to me. but these hijabi barbies will still fucking judge me for not wearing it the "right way" or the "IN the way" and for ...
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