Thought

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Sometimes you're your own worse enemy

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What the F**k just happened?

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I'm actually so hesitant to post this because I know some people will want more than I am prepared to give, say or do. But I can't be silent not so much about whats happened, but what I discovered about myself in the process. The thing that happened: I usually offer my services in digital marketing for free for fundraisers and people who do community work. So when a local religious (sheigh) leader asked to meet me to discuss a project. I thought nothing of it. I've met with plenty of them to know how to conduct myself. Side Note : as someone who has recently embraced Hijab, I understand there is additional scrutiny on how I conduct myself in muslim restaurants, especially with local scholars/leaders Flag 1 : said sheigh pitched up in casual clothes and I could smell the cologne on him and could see he had recently shaved and groomed. This made me nervous because the first thing he remarked on was how pretty I was. Flag 2 : he kept asking me, how long I was prep...
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Talking Snack!

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I was so excited that Sham was finally coming to Joburg and thought the best way to tell the story was the way I remembered it, through the food we planned to eat, did eat and wanted to eat but were too full! Before you go any further, if you don't know who Sham is, you can fuck right off at this point. Because you should have clicked at the link above, saw her stuff and then kick yerself for not meeting her. and then proceed to read the rest of this blog in emerald shade of jealous green. T-3 days till #shaminjhb happened, I offered my services for the day to show them around. We knew it was a limited time frame because of the time they were coming in and also a braai that night, had to be prepped for. So we spoke about food, because well, food moves me. Decided we have to get samoosas for our walk about in the CBD, yes nay-saying joburgers the actual CBD. But first the samoosa's, "World of Samoosas " in the plaza was the only place one should ever buy samoo...
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Hijab - my weakness

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So since 2016, I've been mostly in Hijab and its tough. I know why I started wearing it, and it was to be a daily reminder to find better ways of being. Friends and Family, don't always understand. I'm "less progressive now" what they don't know is I will still call you a p03$ in a headscarf. but the point is that I WANT to be better, be more God-conscious. Heres the rub though. Sometimes I get sick and tired of trying to be a better person. It's too damn hard and especially since acceptance came easier outside of wearing hijab.  going out, showing my hair and wearing what I please. regardless of modesty. I miss not giving a fuck! Then I try to do not give a fuck and then I feel miserable. because my stupid ass knows better. I hate it sometimes because this means something different to others than it does to me. but these hijabi barbies will still fucking judge me for not wearing it the "right way" or the "IN the way" and for ...
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