Thursday, March 8, 2018

The last 2 years

Two years ago today, I instagram'd the moment I walked into my first retrenchment (I didn't know at the time)

Last year today after being told I did an amazing job, I was asked to leave for not being a cultural fit.
Hijab wearing muslim working for company who predominantly sold hard liquor, yeah I figured
But I took the job because I had no other means of income.

Its not lost on me, but I can't tell you what retrenchments does to your psyche, your confidence, your ability to say with certainty. I KNOW HOW TO DO MY JOB

Between friends who gave generously of their time:

  • my lawyer friend who helped me negotiate a package, 
  • my social media friend who gave me some part time work to tide me over, to 
  • the friend who gave me a home so I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent. 
  • To the friend and her family who opened their home and fed me 
  • all of you who helped me and helped me maintain a semblance of dignity. for those friends who made me cry and reminded me that I have a tribe when I felt alone and isolated.

I am blessed that every time a door closed someone wedged it open even just slightly.
 I count my blessings everyday that I know have permanent employment. That I have am amazing group of people who didn't abandon me when life got tough, when the shit got real. I am not worthy of such friends.

I still battle with the feeling that I will never be safe again, or feel secured but I know this much.

Alhamdullilah wa Kafa - Thank God in every circumstance and Barakallahu Wafik to every one of you who saved me over and over again.