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Showing posts from 2015

well, do you?

Do you know you're drowning?
Can you even tell,
 or
like a slow boiled crustacean who is none the wiser to its
surroundings

Will you slowly be killed, suffocated
and not even realise

you could have just moved.

Adulting

I've always been the good girl, the well behaved -its-the-right-thing-to-do girl.

And somewhere along the lines, I got tired of it. I have lived my life out of fear.
Fear that I wouldn't be enough, that I'd be too much, that I wouldn't crack it.

My fear has taken many forms, people pleaseing, the mediator, the fence sitter and ofcourse the constant need for external validation.

Now I sit here and I have taken my first "no take backs" adult steps.  And the world didn't crumble.
While I am still fighting the internal fight with my old self. I have to constantly remind myself to be brave and bold because I am looking for a different outcome.

So go on, be brave and do something that scares the shit out of you

Who I am

“I’m quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I often trip over my own insecurities. I require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air I breathe. I love hard and with all that i have and even with my faults, I am worth loving.”
-Danu Grayson

Sometimes

In between the constant tinging of my phone
and hooted car horns I find my self sometimes in moments of clarity

between fleeting rainfalls and misty beaches
sometimes I catch glimpses of myself

Between wishes for love and soapboxing my glorious independance
Sometimes there's a knock which I answer

Between flirtatious repartee and honest confessions
sometimes a hand is extended.

Between ravernous hunger and steaming towers of food
Sometimes I hunger for you

Between flip flops in my tummy, and stuttering in my speech
sometimes you see me




For the love of something

I have struggled over the last few months, to find something positive to write to about.
I have been uninspired and couldn't be arsed about anything.

I wanted to write but genuinely didn't want to put any more negative thoughts into the world and really well I needed a boost of some sort,

Anyone who knew me as a kid, knew I couldn't stand still. I needed to move and dance and I genuinely communicated through interpretive dance. It drove my mom crazy

I don't know if I lost that creative spark, or if by becoming more serious, but those random bursts of movement became less and less over the last 15 years (sad hey?)

I then saw this article on a friends FB wall and I thought, maybe if I started dancing again, I would have the energy to return to gym and refocus my health efforts.

It did so much more. From the time I stepped back into the Salsa class (which while it was recommended I buy dancing shoes, I was like err yeah lets see how the first month goes)
ha! after 2 class…