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Showing posts from 2015

well, do you?

Do you know you're drowning? Can you even tell,  or like a slow boiled crustacean who is none the wiser to its surroundings Will you slowly be killed, suffocated and not even realise you could have just moved.

Adulting

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I've always been the good girl, the well behaved -its-the-right-thing-to-do girl. And somewhere along the lines, I got tired of it. I have lived my life out of fear. Fear that I wouldn't be enough, that I'd be too much, that I wouldn't crack it. My fear has taken many forms, people pleaseing, the mediator, the fence sitter and ofcourse the constant need for external validation. Now I sit here and I have taken my first "no take backs" adult steps.  And the world didn't crumble. While I am still fighting the internal fight with my old self. I have to constantly remind myself to be brave and bold because I am looking for a different outcome. So go on, be brave and do something that scares the shit out of you

Who I am

“I’m quirky, silly, blunt, and broken. My days are sometimes too dark, and my nights are sometimes too long. I often trip over my own insecurities. I require attention, long for passion, and wish to be desired. I use music to speak when words fail me, even though words are as important to me as the air I breathe. I love hard and with all that i have and even with my faults, I am worth loving.” -Danu Grayson

Sometimes

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In between the constant tinging of my phone and hooted car horns I find my self sometimes in moments of clarity between fleeting rainfalls and misty beaches sometimes I catch glimpses of myself Between wishes for love and soapboxing my glorious independance Sometimes there's a knock which I answer Between flirtatious repartee and honest confessions sometimes a hand is extended. Between ravernous hunger and steaming towers of food Sometimes I hunger for you Between flip flops in my tummy, and stuttering in my speech sometimes you see me

For the love of something

I have struggled over the last few months, to find something positive to write to about. I have been uninspired and couldn't be arsed about anything. I wanted to write but genuinely didn't want to put any more negative thoughts into the world and really well I needed a boost of some sort, Anyone who knew me as a kid, knew I couldn't stand still. I needed to move and dance and I genuinely communicated through interpretive dance. It drove my mom crazy I don't know if I lost that creative spark, or if by becoming more serious, but those random bursts of movement became less and less over the last 15 years (sad hey?) I then saw this article on a friends FB wall and I thought, maybe if I started dancing again, I would have the energy to return to gym and refocus my health efforts. It did so much more. From the time I stepped back into the Salsa class (which while it was recommended I buy dancing shoes, I was like err yeah lets see how the first month goes) ha! a