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Of Course the year will end on a Monday.

Introspection for people in their late twenties and some of us in our early 30s
Tend to take it a bit far. We mourn our losses, take stock of our current and wonder
am I failing at life? Have I done enough? Will I ever be loved.

I reckon we're doing the best we can with what we have.
Not all of us will be stars, because, well, we can't all be stars.

Dont make others yardsticks your point of reflection.
We're on different paths and while we find common ground and worthwhile friendships

We need to remember that. Embrace our differences, Love well and Laugh Loud!

Happy New year everyone.

You did well!

[I wanted to embed a video to share some funny with you, alas, youtube keeps defaulting to my entire playlist]

Go look at the funny here : http://youtu.be/NxtcR-fcUiU

2012: The year that was

Taking my cue from Nafisa the year that was.


1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Had Dinner in the sky, renovated my house.


2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any I think.


3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

Probably braaing


4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, a good friend.


5. What countries did you visit?

None, all travels were local


6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Self Confidence, More happiness, love and a new location to live in.


7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I dont have a date in mind, 2012 was an epic year. Epic Fails, Wins, Sadness, Fun


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Taking ownership of my life


9. What was your biggest failure?

Not being honest with myself about my choices

Not keeping my mouth shut

Trusting the wrong people


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope


11. What was the best thing you bought?

Things I learnt in 2012

Not everyone you meet should be regarded as a friend.
I got way too emo this year. (Death, Breakups,Drama)
I have to love myself

Ex-boyfriends should remain that exactly. Ex
Good friends are hard to come by.
My love affair with Joburg has ended. Its time to leave.

Family is Gods blessing and His biggest joke.
It should be enough to love your work without loving your location.

Being honest about your mistakes, I have had many of these this year.
No amount of money replaces good conversations.

Genuine friendships take hard work and lots of understanding.
To the amazing trips, CT, CT,KwaManzi,Warmbaths, CT and Magalies
To Sham, Nafisa and Sam for the lessons, laughs and comments.
Sameer,Sham and Nafisa for helping me make the tough decisions.

To you who stood by me, in what can only be described as a tough year. Thank you for making it bearable. For helping me laugh again and for believing in me when i couldn't do so myself.
From the bottom of my heart I am thankful

For those who are…

Weekends away and self help

I think I put self help in the title Just for Sham.

But what an incredible time. Great friends and so much food. I think everyone is on some sort of detox.

Nothing says you need a break like road rage on your way out of Joburg. Sham was my unfortunate passenger and I thought she might just through herself out of the slow moving vehicle in protest.
But testament to her bad taste and choices she remained in the car, albeit a little afraid.

After what felt like hours on the road, in the only car sans aircon we eventually got there, after C and J took over leading the procession of cars. *Hallelujah* raises hands

The rest of the weekend was so much fun, and laughs and awkward moments and conversations. There was merriment and food. and Mini photo shoots and food. And games and food
You starting to see the pattern right.

Something has to be said about going on holiday with people of similar age and outlook.
Sham said this was a highly intelligent group of people and she wasnt wrong.

Nafisa…

can you count?

I have awesome friends who say things like suck it up

every single thing the worlds throws at you

pick it up

Your self respect and belief

Show up

even when you don't want to or have crappy tickets

Lighten up

when your troubles are held up by them

Unchain you

who slap your wrist when you're making a stupid anything

Force you

to see yourself and stand up

Blessed

for friends who turn up

the 25 year old Shaman

the 29 year old medicine women

the 30 year old philosopher

the 40 year old realist

the single digit little ones

and the blood related ones.




New years and the bombs

you reduce my life to a #hashtag on a social site
you bring a cannon to a gun fight

I will not hate you, someone has to break the cycle of violence.

For all the kids in Palestine and Israel, I will pray for your safety this day.
I will pray for your understanding and for your tolerance.

Hate begets hate. I will not hate

Happy 1434
#endtheviolence

I can cry

Tight chested and feeling like I am about to throw up breakfast
I sit waiting to see her, you see I had been avoiding her for about 3 weeks
because the questions were getting tough.

"I think something is wrong" I say to her "I feel kak. Not ill or sad, just kak"
"When was the last time you cried Aasia?"
"Last week in the car on the N1"

Well you obviously hate traffic then.
*side eyes*

So much has happened this year and as I slowly wrap my head around the drama,
death and deceit. I find myself wondering what I thought I was going to achieve.

"You act like you can't get hurt Aasia"
Yes I get hurt. All.the.time.
Except I am a cry in the shower and breathe slowly in a dark room kind of person.

Because I rationalise. if I fall apart, who will pick up my pieces?
"But you're lying to yourself again Aasia, you're not going to fall apart.
You just dont want people to believe that you hurt now, and that its sore and that its not…

African Justice for an African Nation

Zuma's "african way" remarks sparks concern.

This story about Prez Zuma
"The Centre for Constitutional Rights expressed concern over President Jacob Zuma's reported comments that the justice system was "the white man's way" for solving "African problems".

I might not be the man's greatest fan at the best of times, but I think Prez Zuma has a point.
If we as a people conduct ourselves using tradition and our culture as the reference to how we live, why on earth would any justice system work for us?

Many might disagree with it, hoever we only have to look at honour killings and child marriages in Islam (Here I am talking about the UK)
Entire communities hush up when police officers enter the area with whispers of abuse happen. But no one will out the abuser at all.

I see it in the coloured communities as well, although I still call the police when I witness doemstic abuse, battered wives wont file charges. Under-age drinking, is seen as &quo…

you know!?

Stolen from a friends blog, they know who they are, but summed up 2012 for me:
The last few days have, for reasons unknown, brought to light issues of friendship, loyalty, and trust. What IS friendship? To you? There are people I’ve known for years who are less friend to me than people I’ve known for mere months. How odd is that? There are friends who I have known for years, who I realise now, are not *true* friends. According to my personal definition of *true*. All of this has also highlighted how lucky I am to actually have people I consider sincere friends. Then there’s this issue of Trust. You never really realise how much it means til there’s a shortage of it. And I don’t even mean the kind of trust that involves spades, skellingtons and blood oaths of silence. The simple trust of day to day relationships is what I mean.
I’ve seen trust erode this year, like never before. And it pains me. And makes me feel like a paranoid git. And it wears me down. For better or worse, I prefer to …

What is wrong with people

I dont understand how you can justify it explain it Blame it make it about someone else.
You wont take responsibility create empathy educate you self!
Even you "friends" Take responsibility for your life

Even me. I need to not justify make excuses for you if you're a bad friend. I have to give you up like a bad habit smoking thinking better of you  when you wont afford me the same courteousy.
Taking my hero-complex and need to be there for you and hiding it in a bat cave
because Gotham doesn't need me.

Monday Moan

I am angry at the world [again it seems]
But to be honest, many things have been upsetting me.

1.) Muslims

I cannot say this enough, being muslim does not make you a better person.
Fact: You can be muslim and an arsehole at the same time.
I believe the way you treat people when no one is watching shows your character.
I see you!

2.) Coloureds who play the stereotype

Mofo's listen closely now. IF you want to party, by all means do it. BUT understand that when you party in a residential area around 1am is when i expect you to turn yo shit down.
Otherwise I am going to go jihadi on your arse!
I am tired of people not respecting themselves and carrying on like animals because its weekend.

3.) Property websites

For not accepting my offer to purchase on a house in CT.

4.) Women

For stabbing each other in the back, for accepting less than your worth.
For being an arsehole and not listening to your friends.
For being careless bitches. With your self and your self respect.

Fuck it!

Arrgh

Is it true
Probably

So what now?
I dunno

What happened now?
Just another day

Oh were you going to wear that? And leave the house?
Yes why?
Oh nothing....

You know its true right
Yup, Probably

But do you like him?
Yes, a LOT

And him?
He likes himself I guess.

Did you organise the movers?
Nope

Did you get the bed?
Yep

Why are you still friends with them?
Because, well, not sure

You're so funny!
Thanks!

Do you ever get sad?
Yes, I have timeshare there

What does it all mean.
No idea

Is he ok now?
Seems that way, comes home soon

Whats happening on Lebaran?
Uhm, well I have to make dessert.
Where can I get meringue?

The Dog hair is everywhere.

Lets go swim

eh

Talking to God

In the absolute quiet that surrounds me
my grief crippling me
Speaking to God in urgent whispers
and panicked breathing

Pleading for a sign
For a moment
when it wouldn't hurt

and then you called.

The realisation that when talking to God
he listened.

All about Mia

On the 18th of September just after one I got the call. THAT call to say Cancer claimed my friend.
I rushed to Donald Gordon and held my other sisters as we wept for her.

Why we wept I am not sure, the fact that a heart attack claimed her, that it was too soon, that she was no longer in pain? Maybe for them all.

I thought about her beautiful kids she left behind and the enormous responsibility for us to love them, to remind them and to protect them.

I was sad that she would never see Cape Town again, the one place we both wanted to move to. But thats where her ashes will be scattered.

But I didn't write this post to mourn her, instead I want to tell you about the woman she was, and her lessons she taught me.

Grace - no matter the hate, the anger  or the hurdles. She taught me to carry myself with grace, not because of how other people are. Because it was how I should carry myself.

Zen -  She taught me about not sweating the small stuff and how to be at Peace with myself and my choic…

#MuslimRage

So once again Muslims around the world seem to be angry, but for once this has nothing to do with the usual issues, but rather directed at Newsweek for another sub-par article written by Ayaan Ali Hirsi - the ex-Muslim all Muslims love to hate, according to her.

Anyhoo, I won't involve myself  in the politics of it. But working in ORM I did track the meme last night. If you don't know what I am talking about, this was the article that got all Muslim turbans in a knot. Not really, but her article mentions Muslims burning with false outrage. [She would know]

When Newsweek tried to get online conversation going with the hashtag #MuslimRage. Muslims hijacked it  to have some fun with it.






My day so far

This morning started out cold and blustery, and for once my sinusitis was at ease.
Got to work in record time and had been merrily chugging along.

At lunch, I decided to get Nandos and offered to do an office Nandos run.
Anyhoo, order placed and off I went, more chugging all the way to Epsom Downs

Now I have been in a relatively good mood all day and was enjoying being out of the office, when I noticed a car with two old ladies waiting for a parking spot, right up against the store. Nothing significant or out of place and then as they start pulling into the parking.

Young little cow who had been waiting for them to turn into the parking, loses her patience and
takes the parking from them.

The older women, found another parking spot and while I was paying I noticed all 3 women come into the store. Standing behind me in the queue was the young girl and behind her the two old ladies.
This is what happens
The older lady taps the young girl and says to her " You took our parking that …

5 things I love September!

Yes people of the cyber space, tis September and new beginnings for all us southern folk
Spring is spring-y and the countdown to le birthday begins.

I am 31 this year, when did I become an upstanding member of society?
Anyway, I get birthdays aren't big for most people, but for me, I love them.

Once a year I get to high-five myself for still being around and not completely messing up my life.

Its also a reminder that is all my brothers birthdays too. Me 22, bro 23,bro 26 bro 27.
So I usher in the summer with my familia and a camping trip.

Anyway onto the 5 things I love:

Weekend getaways

Firstly there is nothing quite like waking up in a new place and the absolutel quiet of the bush.
2- Having friends that support you and allow you to get a lil crazy


 3- Nespresso, I liked them before, but Nafisa brought hers on our outing and I fell inlove with it.


4. My family. I can't capture them all, so just one of a bazillion that I have
5. My Birthday
Nuff said




Oppression Olympics

Whats the flavour of the month? What cause has everyone triled about.
There are more people being oppressed than ever before. And not just based on religion or culture

One of the blogs I follow a little miss Ragen Chastain speaks about Anti-Obesity being the new homophobia. And it got me thinking

How easy it is for people to actually make fun of fat people. Take away bigger issues of the world and focus for once on individuals. I dont mean become selfish - but you know what I feel oppressed most days

I am fat, I am a pavement special, no pure bred here. I come from a disadvantaged background all thats missing is my homosexual orientation. I know Ricky Gervais makes mention that comparing some ones weight issues to a sexual orientation is like a gay man being weaned onto c**k.

But its not about that, its the attitude others have that its OK toColour Bash, Culture Bash, Gay Bash or Fat Bash or Jewish Bash for that matter. To think you can make fun of other people.  Which is mean, the od…

hmmpf

Stubborn ovaries
broken chances
Poly-cystic dreams which don't take root.

Rebel bodies don't belong in traditional homes.

August 5 things I love

Nafisa and I both did July lists and she beat me to the punch for August.

1.
 After 6 months of renovation both inside and outside. 
My favourite room in the house has to be the lounge/dining room purely for the colour choice
Its Plascon cool spring and the pictures by Jeanette


2. 
Another wonderful addition to my "artwork collection" from the easel of  Shameema. I love the colours
and she doesn't . (Terrible picture, I apologise it doesn't do the colours justice)


3. Finally a plus size section worth noting!! Yes there aren't many items, but a big jump from the old, "ouma" clothing available most places. You have no idea how long I have agonised this point. Mr Price Online not only did it make shopping for my Eid clothes stress free. The Easy user interface and speedy delivery will make me come back. These are 2 of the 5 items I bought online. And they fit PERFECTLY

4. Ramadaan Photo a day Although you can be bombarded with notifications, I saw some really stunning…

She and I

We sat on the couch, her icy feet tucked under my shirt on my stomach to get them warm.
She had pain and I gave comfort.

She held my hand and said the nasty words "My cancer is back"
I had pain and she gave comfort.

Making plans together on the couch watching series.
"this time is bad and we have to accept"
We had pain and God comforted.

Moaning noises wake me from a restless sleep
Pain induced tears and frantic phone calls
She needed help and I needed God.

The flashing red of the ambulance lights,
against early morning rain, not a sound could be heard.
She left and I remained.

أَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ رَبَّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ أَنْ يَشْفِيَكَ "I ask Allah who is the Lofty and the Lord of the Mighty Throne that He cures you"



My Tom Yum

So Mukhtar started his blog about 3 weeks ago. I know this because so far he is pacing himself with blogging and sticking to one post a week. Anyhoo


I decided to try his Tom Yum Soup Recipe sans cherry tomatoes, as my mom can't really have any, but I did cheat and use a bit of tomato paste. 


I thought it would be pretty complicated, but it wasn't. The end result was pretty spectacular, and the pot was empty. So Kudos to M for making thai so easy. And Nafisa also decided to do it, with pretty awesome results.


Bon appetit!

Dark Knight Rises with the Ramadaan Moon

Almost every muslim that I know has an opinion or a plan on how to be dealing with this, with a good article on MuslimMatters about it. 


My very quick 2 cents, in no particular order and on no particular side.

If you watch TV during Ramadaan, then why is a cinema any differentYou could absolutely wait.You could go watch it at a Casino ( and be very surprised with the amount of muslims on the slot machines)If you waiting to watch it after Ramadaan, and you're agonising about it at first taraweeh, and cannot contain your excitement about Ramadaan ending. Rather just go watch it when it releases and get it over with. Because you lose not only 2h45mins, you lose all the blessings, because you're never really paying attention in the first place.Peace out

July: 5 Things I love

Stole this meme from Nafisa who listed her 5 things earlier this week.

1.) The colour purple.

In the last two weeks, I bought gloves, a scarf and gown in this glorious shade

2.) Butternut Soup


This soup has to be my pick for winter, from the woolies variety, to the cardamom infused option from from M that I had in Cape Town. My fav way of having still with a dollop of cream, spinkle of spring onion and a piece of Feta.
3.) Living close to work
Before moving out my trip to and from work was 98kms a day, my new place is so close. I wake up two hours later than usual.
4.) Photoshoots - They're like my version of a jumping castles and awesome playmates
5) Confidence
So I figured out, that I know stuff. Important businessy stuff, and that I am awesome. I have never felt so sure about my skills, than I am right now... tonight...well while typing this out...atleast.

Peace out. Let me know your 5 things.


5 year introspection

I think I have been in a rut for the last five years. I know this because everything seemed dull.
Things I enjoyed doing, food, dance, art everything.


5 years ago I lost my dad, and almost all my efforts were spent trying to fill the gap he has left, in my life, my home, my family and my mind.


I think I have pretended for far too long that it was I was ok. That is was ok to miss him and to get over him. My entire life took a nose dive, my love of dancing, swimming and the outdoors were sweet but left me with a bitter after taste. And I think I have spent these last years pretending that it was fine, that I was fine and that all these things, was proof that I was maturing and changing.


I look at my life now, and after feeling disappointed again, I needed to figure out when I stopped caring about me, my joys and my passions. And I stopped caring when he died. Not feeling was so much better than dealing with the excruciating pain and loss of losing someone so pivotal in my life. 


Of course I …

Life's Work and Ambition

A passing comment by a friend this weekend about me, got me thinking about the person I want to be.
We were talking about how cold it was and I had said it was so cold, that my head was freezing from the outside. And she responded with" And that's why I miss you"

After packing to move into the house share yesterday, I found a file I made with all my certificates and testimonials and my sense of humour featured in all of them. I genuinely couldn't care about how rich I get or how successful in my career.

My deepest wish is to make those around me happy. Their happiness and fulfilment was enough for me. Nothing disturbs me more than a friend's suffering that I couldn't ease. I think I will face one of my biggest challenges in the next year with a friend who is exactly in that position and we will see where it takes us both.

Confession: 6 Things about me, that you didn't know

I saw this post on Angels site I thought this might be great way to start blogging again.


1. I have never watched the matrix *hangs head*


I know I am such a weirdo and I actually crushed on Keanu for most of high school, I never understood the hype blue pill schmill  meh. I don't get it.
2. I enjoy Vampire Diaries/True Blood and TwilightI * obviously* like my men translucent or I have a thing for the bad apples. Judge away


3. I don't like being touchedor I do but there's a level of discomfort for me as I am very ticklish
4. I'm actually very very quietI think I was ying and now I am yang. I prefer silence above almost any other sound these days. But I still crave the chaos of noise every once in a while. Which I give in to.
5 .Music moves me
I don't just mean that it stirs emotion, I believe in giving in to emotion. So when I feel sad I listen to adele, because nothing expresses sadness quiet like her melancholic voice.
Belly Dancing music moves me too, the need to d…

On Nazir Alli's Resignation from SANRAL

This parody is based on the Aladin Song:
Sing along to : 


Nazir Ali! Fabulous he! Alli from SANRAL reflect, show some respect Down on one knee! Now, try your best to stay calm His tolls went up without alarm Then come and meet his spectacular coterie Nazir Ali! The Tzar of tar! Alli from SANRAL Clever as ten government men, definitely! He faced the galloping hordes A hundred motorists with swords Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Nazir Ali Nazir Ali!Handsome is he,

Alli from SANRAL That physique! How can I speak Weak at the knee Well, get on out in that square & Toyi Toyi The Joburg CBD we'll destroy To gawk and grovel and stare at Nazir Ali! Nazir Ali! Amorous he! Alli from SANRAL Your resignation was a sight lovely to see And that, good people, is why, he got dolled up and dropped by With sixty tolls, fees galore Packed up: his bears and lions A brass band and more his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers His birds that warble on key Please wave to Nazir Ali!

apologies

I'm sorry that I let you and me down, by becoming the very thing I hated. Selfish and self-absorbed worrying about me all the time. I am sorry that I forgot how much love cleanses and purifies the simplest of relationships.

I am down hearted because I can't fix it all. Or that I am not enough, but in truth I am down hearted that I didn't realise it sooner.

I am sorry I forgot you my friend, and that even for one moment that I forgot to send thanks, for being greatful for my life, my blessings and my dreams. My dreams were let down and my hopes were dashed, but I didn't mean for it to happen. I got caught up in the superficial moments and gestures of good hope.

No more!

 I apologise to you and more importantly to me, for forgetting who I am and where I come from.

You will be disappointed

Sooner or later, you'll ask for something or read something or expect something and you won't like what you get. You'll feel like I wasted your time, wasted your money or didn't meet your expectations. Not just me, of course. Everyone. Even you. You will disappoint someone, and the organizations you depend on will disappoint you. Expectations keep rising, and promises keep being made. We keep bringing more magic into the world, but rising expectations mean that there's more disappointment as well. That's part of the deal of being in the world. The alternative, I'm afraid, isn't to choose a path where we make everyone happy and always exceed their expectations. Nope. The alternative is to hide, to fail to engage and to produce nothing. A pretty easy choice. Seth Godin

All hail the Islamic EFT

I have been following the MJC debate regarding Orion with the same sort of fascination as some one driving past an accident on the road.

I believe I am going to see something horrendous but in most cases there is usually one distraught person in shock and angry commuters stuck in traffic give them judgy eyes for daring to have a bumper bashing on an already over crowded highway. I digress.

I am usually on the forefront of Halaal bashing, and that includes Muslims, their stupidity, forwarded emails and recent spate of BBM broadcasts.

Now give me my moment to to sermonise on my soap box because I have had it with self entitled muslims who think it's ok to throw money at everything and expect it to work.

These are my EFT muslims. I bitched to Nafisa about this in November last year. Never willing to be active citizens but always prepared to donate that R100 towards something else.

"Here's my money, but please don't fucking bore me with all these details about poor people…

Sweet Misgivings

I really really like you
but I dont think you're into me