Monday, December 31, 2012

Of Course the year will end on a Monday.

Introspection for people in their late twenties and some of us in our early 30s
Tend to take it a bit far. We mourn our losses, take stock of our current and wonder
am I failing at life? Have I done enough? Will I ever be loved.

I reckon we're doing the best we can with what we have.
Not all of us will be stars, because, well, we can't all be stars.

Dont make others yardsticks your point of reflection.
We're on different paths and while we find common ground and worthwhile friendships

We need to remember that. Embrace our differences, Love well and Laugh Loud!

Happy New year everyone.

You did well!

[I wanted to embed a video to share some funny with you, alas, youtube keeps defaulting to my entire playlist]

Go look at the funny here : http://youtu.be/NxtcR-fcUiU

Thursday, December 27, 2012

2012: The year that was



Taking my cue from Nafisa the year that was.


1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Had Dinner in the sky, renovated my house.


2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any I think.


3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

Probably braaing


4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, a good friend.


5. What countries did you visit?

None, all travels were local


6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Self Confidence, More happiness, love and a new location to live in.


7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I dont have a date in mind, 2012 was an epic year. Epic Fails, Wins, Sadness, Fun


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Taking ownership of my life


9. What was your biggest failure?

Not being honest with myself about my choices

Not keeping my mouth shut

Trusting the wrong people


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope


11. What was the best thing you bought?

Time with my friends


12. Where did most of your money go?

Renovations, Repairs and replacements


13. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Numb-Linkin Park (Kept creeping up everywhere)


14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Excercise


15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Procrastinate


16. What was your favourite TV program?

Suits and Game of Thrones


17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Have chosen not to hate.


18. What was the best book you read?

The entire Game of Thrones Series


19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

AWOLNATION


20. What was your favourite film of this year?

Avengers


21. What did you do on your birthday?

Camping


22. What kept you sane?

God - prayer


23. Who did you miss?

Aside from my dad, no one else


24. Who was the best new person you met?

Not new people, rediscovering old friends and enjoying them


25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:

Not everyone in your life is a friend. Not everyone has your best interests at heart.

Love and life is precious.





Saturday, December 22, 2012

Things I learnt in 2012

Not everyone you meet should be regarded as a friend.
I got way too emo this year. (Death, Breakups,Drama)
I have to love myself

Ex-boyfriends should remain that exactly. Ex
Good friends are hard to come by.
My love affair with Joburg has ended. Its time to leave.

Family is Gods blessing and His biggest joke.
It should be enough to love your work without loving your location.

Being honest about your mistakes, I have had many of these this year.
No amount of money replaces good conversations.

Genuine friendships take hard work and lots of understanding.
To the amazing trips, CT, CT,KwaManzi,Warmbaths, CT and Magalies
To Sham, Nafisa and Sam for the lessons, laughs and comments.
Sameer,Sham and Nafisa for helping me make the tough decisions.

To you who stood by me, in what can only be described as a tough year. Thank you for making it bearable. For helping me laugh again and for believing in me when i couldn't do so myself.
From the bottom of my heart I am thankful

For those who are no longer in my life, thank you for the hard learned lessons. Painful and gutting.
But another step on the journey of my life.






Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Weekends away and self help

I think I put self help in the title Just for Sham.

But what an incredible time. Great friends and so much food. I think everyone is on some sort of detox.

Nothing says you need a break like road rage on your way out of Joburg. Sham was my unfortunate passenger and I thought she might just through herself out of the slow moving vehicle in protest.
But testament to her bad taste and choices she remained in the car, albeit a little afraid.

After what felt like hours on the road, in the only car sans aircon we eventually got there, after C and J took over leading the procession of cars. *Hallelujah* raises hands

The rest of the weekend was so much fun, and laughs and awkward moments and conversations. There was merriment and food. and Mini photo shoots and food. And games and food
You starting to see the pattern right.

Something has to be said about going on holiday with people of similar age and outlook.
Sham said this was a highly intelligent group of people and she wasnt wrong.

Nafisa got kicked in the face by Mukhtar, I got tickled, Sham got creeped out -wait- to be honest. I did show everyone what the creepiest move is and did it to everyone all the time.

Great times, loads of laughs, passing 300 000kms on my car and well just more reasons to smile.

Here's a video of me, using a cow puppet to hump a Ms leg
video

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

can you count?

I have awesome friends who say things like suck it up

every single thing the worlds throws at you

pick it up

Your self respect and belief

Show up

even when you don't want to or have crappy tickets

Lighten up

when your troubles are held up by them

Unchain you

who slap your wrist when you're making a stupid anything

Force you

to see yourself and stand up

Blessed

for friends who turn up

the 25 year old Shaman

the 29 year old medicine women

the 30 year old philosopher

the 40 year old realist

the single digit little ones

and the blood related ones.




Thursday, November 15, 2012

New years and the bombs

you reduce my life to a #hashtag on a social site
you bring a cannon to a gun fight

I will not hate you, someone has to break the cycle of violence.

For all the kids in Palestine and Israel, I will pray for your safety this day.
I will pray for your understanding and for your tolerance.

Hate begets hate. I will not hate

Happy 1434
#endtheviolence

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I can cry

Tight chested and feeling like I am about to throw up breakfast
I sit waiting to see her, you see I had been avoiding her for about 3 weeks
because the questions were getting tough.

"I think something is wrong" I say to her "I feel kak. Not ill or sad, just kak"
"When was the last time you cried Aasia?"
"Last week in the car on the N1"

Well you obviously hate traffic then.
*side eyes*

So much has happened this year and as I slowly wrap my head around the drama,
death and deceit. I find myself wondering what I thought I was going to achieve.

"You act like you can't get hurt Aasia"
Yes I get hurt. All.the.time.
Except I am a cry in the shower and breathe slowly in a dark room kind of person.

Because I rationalise. if I fall apart, who will pick up my pieces?
"But you're lying to yourself again Aasia, you're not going to fall apart.
You just dont want people to believe that you hurt now, and that its sore and that its not getting better fast. And you dont want to be fragile"

No shit, Fragility is not something I want associated with me, I am the Bull in the china shop. Not the china itself.

I miss her and I am pissed at her. I am angry at them and I want nothing more than a really big hug.

I want my own him.

But for now I can cry

Monday, November 5, 2012

African Justice for an African Nation

Zuma's "african way" remarks sparks concern.

This story about Prez Zuma
"The Centre for Constitutional Rights expressed concern over President Jacob Zuma's reported comments that the justice system was "the white man's way" for solving "African problems".

I might not be the man's greatest fan at the best of times, but I think Prez Zuma has a point.
If we as a people conduct ourselves using tradition and our culture as the reference to how we live, why on earth would any justice system work for us?

Many might disagree with it, hoever we only have to look at honour killings and child marriages in Islam (Here I am talking about the UK)
Entire communities hush up when police officers enter the area with whispers of abuse happen. But no one will out the abuser at all.

I see it in the coloured communities as well, although I still call the police when I witness doemstic abuse, battered wives wont file charges. Under-age drinking, is seen as "ag hy is net stout"
Loads of drivers as buy their drivers licence. 

We might not like the fact that Pres. Zuma has a point, but we ahve to accept that we live the reality.
People's blatant disregard for the law is shown in our Crime Stats. If people dont believe the justice system works for them, they will do nothing to uphold the law.

Active citizenry might not always be the case, but most people I know try to be better citizens.
But if you are too high up in the middle class and lose sight and understanding fo the working class. That puts you in a small minority. 

Dont tell me about faster internet. and the right to information, when in fact I would like to see better education and sex education. Empowerment for women as well.

Point is, its obviously not working, so why are we fighting to keep it?

Thursday, November 1, 2012

you know!?

Stolen from a friends blog, they know who they are, but summed up 2012 for me:
The last few days have, for reasons unknown, brought to light issues of friendship, loyalty, and trust. What IS friendship? To you? There are people I’ve known for years who are less friend to me than people I’ve known for mere months. How odd is that? There are friends who I have known for years, who I realise now, are not *true* friends. According to my personal definition of *true*. All of this has also highlighted how lucky I am to actually have people I consider sincere friends.
Then there’s this issue of Trust. You never really realise how much it means til there’s a shortage of it. And I don’t even mean the kind of trust that involves spades, skellingtons and blood oaths of silence. The simple trust of day to day relationships is what I mean.
I’ve seen trust erode this year, like never before. And it pains me. And makes me feel like a paranoid git. And it wears me down. For better or worse, I prefer to live this life with my heart on my sleeve, even when walking through fields of cactuseses. Even when hiking in acid rain and desert storms. Foolish much? Of course it is.
See, I’ve been hardened by the jobs I’ve had. The working world grates away at your naivety and idealism, and by wearing my heart the way I do, it’s my silly way of rebelling.
I don’t always get it right. Sometimes the heart crawls right up the sleeve, takes a turn south, and ends up in my sneakers and hides there a tremblin… but this year has been so wearsome, that the only place to show myself, is the outside. Foolish or not, that is how I’m trying to roll.

More than that though, I have had a serious run of bad luck, but I wont wallow in it either.
Also I can be a crap friend, this much I know, but I am actively working on it with people who genuinely give a shit, not a once a month catch up, but the real kind, when shit goes down, they call you, they say silly things and you laugh.
We all have coping mechanisms and mine is retreat and surrender. They know this, and they coax me out of my sad spots,

Anyway, after Monday nights break in, and surviving on a couple hours of sleep. I am tired of having to explain myself. So either be the friend or theres the door.

Sidenote: I cried in the car this morning, between Beyers Naude and Malibongwe, while disturbia by Rihanna was playing on radio. Which made me realise, I need more sleep.

A

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

What is wrong with people

I dont understand how you can justify it
explain it
Blame it
make it
about someone else.

You wont take
responsibility
create empathy
educate you self!

Even you "friends"
Take responsibility for your life


Even me.
I need to not justify
make excuses for you
if you're a bad friend.
I have to give you up like
a bad habit
smoking
thinking better of you 
when you wont afford me the same courteousy.

Taking my hero-complex
and need to be there for you
and hiding it in a bat cave

because Gotham doesn't need me.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Monday Moan

I am angry at the world [again it seems]
But to be honest, many things have been upsetting me.

1.) Muslims

I cannot say this enough, being muslim does not make you a better person.
Fact: You can be muslim and an arsehole at the same time.
I believe the way you treat people when no one is watching shows your character.
I see you!

2.) Coloureds who play the stereotype

Mofo's listen closely now. IF you want to party, by all means do it. BUT understand that when you party in a residential area around 1am is when i expect you to turn yo shit down.
Otherwise I am going to go jihadi on your arse!
I am tired of people not respecting themselves and carrying on like animals because its weekend.

3.) Property websites

For not accepting my offer to purchase on a house in CT.

4.) Women

For stabbing each other in the back, for accepting less than your worth.
For being an arsehole and not listening to your friends.
For being careless bitches. With your self and your self respect.

Fuck it!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Arrgh

Is it true
Probably

So what now?
I dunno

What happened now?
Just another day

Oh were you going to wear that? And leave the house?
Yes why?
Oh nothing....

You know its true right
Yup, Probably

But do you like him?
Yes, a LOT

And him?
He likes himself I guess.

Did you organise the movers?
Nope

Did you get the bed?
Yep

Why are you still friends with them?
Because, well, not sure

You're so funny!
Thanks!

Do you ever get sad?
Yes, I have timeshare there

What does it all mean.
No idea

Is he ok now?
Seems that way, comes home soon

Whats happening on Lebaran?
Uhm, well I have to make dessert.
Where can I get meringue?

The Dog hair is everywhere.

Lets go swim

eh

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Talking to God

In the absolute quiet that surrounds me
my grief crippling me
Speaking to God in urgent whispers
and panicked breathing

Pleading for a sign
For a moment
when it wouldn't hurt

and then you called.

The realisation that when talking to God
he listened.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

All about Mia

On the 18th of September just after one I got the call. THAT call to say Cancer claimed my friend.
I rushed to Donald Gordon and held my other sisters as we wept for her.

Why we wept I am not sure, the fact that a heart attack claimed her, that it was too soon, that she was no longer in pain? Maybe for them all.

I thought about her beautiful kids she left behind and the enormous responsibility for us to love them, to remind them and to protect them.

I was sad that she would never see Cape Town again, the one place we both wanted to move to. But thats where her ashes will be scattered.

But I didn't write this post to mourn her, instead I want to tell you about the woman she was, and her lessons she taught me.

Grace - no matter the hate, the anger  or the hurdles. She taught me to carry myself with grace, not because of how other people are. Because it was how I should carry myself.

Zen -  She taught me about not sweating the small stuff and how to be at Peace with myself and my choices. I did the best I could with every decision I made.

Forgiveness -  No matter how many times the world has screwed you over forgive it anyway. Grudges and hate make you ill. And when you forgive, you give your self permission to move on.

Love -  With everything you have, and love everyone you want to. Freely given without expectation of recripocation

Laugh -  Find the humour in lifes tragedies. Rinse and Repeat.

Mia gave me two new sisters, Martha and Bronwin who I cannot help but love. They embody the lessons Mia gave me. And with all of us together going through the last 2 months. A bond that isn't easily broken. They went back to Cape Town and left with a piece of me.

RIP my beautiful friend, nothing can hurt you now.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

#MuslimRage


So once again Muslims around the world seem to be angry, but for once this has nothing to do with the usual issues, but rather directed at Newsweek for another sub-par article written by Ayaan Ali Hirsi - the ex-Muslim all Muslims love to hate, according to her.

Anyhoo, I won't involve myself  in the politics of it. But working in ORM I did track the meme last night. If you don't know what I am talking about, this was the article that got all Muslim turbans in a knot. Not really, but her article mentions Muslims burning with false outrage. [She would know]

When Newsweek tried to get online conversation going with the hashtag #MuslimRage. Muslims hijacked it  to have some fun with it.






Thursday, September 6, 2012

My day so far

This morning started out cold and blustery, and for once my sinusitis was at ease.
Got to work in record time and had been merrily chugging along.

At lunch, I decided to get Nandos and offered to do an office Nandos run.
Anyhoo, order placed and off I went, more chugging all the way to Epsom Downs

Now I have been in a relatively good mood all day and was enjoying being out of the office, when I noticed a car with two old ladies waiting for a parking spot, right up against the store. Nothing significant or out of place and then as they start pulling into the parking.

Young little cow who had been waiting for them to turn into the parking, loses her patience and
takes the parking from them.

The older women, found another parking spot and while I was paying I noticed all 3 women come into the store. Standing behind me in the queue was the young girl and behind her the two old ladies.
This is what happens
The older lady taps the young girl and says to her " You took our parking that was rude"
Young girl flips her the bird and turns around
Old Woman: You know you're very rude" as she taps her while saying this
Young girl loses her shit " stop fucking assaulting me! if you touch me again Im going to fuck you up"
Old Women both look very shocked and bluster "you shouldn't say things like that"
Young girl lifts her hand to slap the old lady, I grab her hand and say" This is unneccesary, calm down"
Young Girl - YG Old Lady -OL , Me
YG: this isn't your business you fat cow
Me: laughs (embarrased) call me what you like, but you can't hit the woman
YG: everyone saw her assault me, she did it twice
Me: No, she tapped you and you were horrible to her.
YG: I dont care what you think I will slap you too
[YG tries to slap me, and I swat her hand away]
Me: Dont let the fat fool you, I will hurt you
YG: Fuck you, coloured cow go back to where you came from
Me: I came from Bryanston
Old man, who had been watching this whole thing go down says to young girl
"If you dont leave now I am calling the police"
YG : Call the police these women (Points to me and Old women) were assaulting me
OM -" No they weren't, you almost hit that old women, you should eb ashamed of yourself"
YG: Fuck you too then
At which point most of the patrons got up and started telling her to leave and that she should be ashamed of her self.
I got my pita and the office orders and left.
While eating, I thought the Young girl is exactly whats wrong with our country, while people are fighting for faster internet and better bank charges, our young people have lost our dignity.
The other patrons though, showed me, that our people will stand up for whats right.

For the record, both the young girl and old women were indian, the old man was white, the other patrons were black.



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

5 things I love September!

Yes people of the cyber space, tis September and new beginnings for all us southern folk
Spring is spring-y and the countdown to le birthday begins.

I am 31 this year, when did I become an upstanding member of society?
Anyway, I get birthdays aren't big for most people, but for me, I love them.

Once a year I get to high-five myself for still being around and not completely messing up my life.

Its also a reminder that is all my brothers birthdays too. Me 22, bro 23,bro 26 bro 27.
So I usher in the summer with my familia and a camping trip.

Anyway onto the 5 things I love:

Weekend getaways

Firstly there is nothing quite like waking up in a new place and the absolutel quiet of the bush.
Kwamanzi
2- Having friends that support you and allow you to get a lil crazy


 3- Nespresso, I liked them before, but Nafisa brought hers on our outing and I fell inlove with it.


4. My family. I can't capture them all, so just one of a bazillion that I have

5. My Birthday

Nuff said





Friday, August 31, 2012

Oppression Olympics

Whats the flavour of the month? What cause has everyone triled about.
There are more people being oppressed than ever before. And not just based on religion or culture

One of the blogs I follow a little miss Ragen Chastain speaks about Anti-Obesity being the new homophobia. And it got me thinking

How easy it is for people to actually make fun of fat people. Take away bigger issues of the world and focus for once on individuals. I dont mean become selfish - but you know what I feel oppressed most days

I am fat, I am a pavement special, no pure bred here. I come from a disadvantaged background all thats missing is my homosexual orientation. I know Ricky Gervais makes mention that comparing some ones weight issues to a sexual orientation is like a gay man being weaned onto c**k.

But its not about that, its the attitude others have that its OK toColour Bash, Culture Bash, Gay Bash or Fat Bash or Jewish Bash for that matter. To think you can make fun of other people.  Which is mean, the odler I get the more prominent it becomes.

And people dont see this as an issue, one of my friends gtalk status said this morning "Fat People are harder to kidnap"

And every day I am exposed to some sort of snickering or some looks of disgust. I am a big girl and I got fat, but fat runs in the family (Ironic I know) But I was never going to be built like a Victoria Secret Model but I dont want to look like a brick house either.

I wonder if we laugh at addicts too? Haha look at him addicted to cocaine - ahah you're so gonna die dude" <- see nothing about this is in good taste.

So before we start the oppression olympics just remember one thing - Go screw yourself for assuming you can judge people and secondly. Think about your failures and your mistakes and hope to God no one finds out and mocks you.

People are stupid and deserve rocks thrown at them!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Confession

Hi I am Aasia and I have a hero complex

And I get burnt out

And burnt

/steps away from soapbox

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

hmmpf

Stubborn ovaries
broken chances
Poly-cystic dreams which don't take root.

Rebel bodies don't belong in traditional homes.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

August 5 things I love

Nafisa and I both did July lists and she beat me to the punch for August.

1.
 After 6 months of renovation both inside and outside. 
My favourite room in the house has to be the lounge/dining room purely for the colour choice
Its Plascon cool spring and the pictures by Jeanette


2. 
Another wonderful addition to my "artwork collection" from the easel of  Shameema. I love the colours
and she doesn't . (Terrible picture, I apologise it doesn't do the colours justice)


3.
Finally a plus size section worth noting!! Yes there aren't many items, but a big jump from the old, "ouma" clothing available most places. You have no idea how long I have agonised this point.
Mr Price Online not only did it make shopping for my Eid clothes stress free. The Easy user interface and speedy delivery will make me come back. These are 2 of the 5 items I bought online. And they fit PERFECTLY


Although you can be bombarded with notifications, I saw some really stunning pics


Mukhtar has his blog up and running, and have made 2 of the recipes which seem flop proof.



So that's my list for August. 





Wednesday, August 8, 2012

She and I

We sat on the couch, her icy feet tucked under my shirt on my stomach to get them warm.
She had pain and I gave comfort.

She held my hand and said the nasty words "My cancer is back"
I had pain and she gave comfort.

Making plans together on the couch watching series.
"this time is bad and we have to accept"
We had pain and God comforted.

Moaning noises wake me from a restless sleep
Pain induced tears and frantic phone calls
She needed help and I needed God.

The flashing red of the ambulance lights,
against early morning rain, not a sound could be heard.
She left and I remained.

أَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ رَبَّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ أَنْ يَشْفِيَكَ
"I ask Allah who is the Lofty and the Lord of the Mighty Throne that He cures you"




Monday, July 30, 2012

My Tom Yum

So Mukhtar started his blog about 3 weeks ago. I know this because so far he is pacing himself with blogging and sticking to one post a week. Anyhoo


I decided to try his Tom Yum Soup Recipe sans cherry tomatoes, as my mom can't really have any, but I did cheat and use a bit of tomato paste. 


I thought it would be pretty complicated, but it wasn't. The end result was pretty spectacular, and the pot was empty. So Kudos to M for making thai so easy. And Nafisa also decided to do it, with pretty awesome results.


Bon appetit!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Dark Knight Rises with the Ramadaan Moon

Almost every muslim that I know has an opinion or a plan on how to be dealing with this, with a good article on MuslimMatters about it. 


My very quick 2 cents, in no particular order and on no particular side.

  • If you watch TV during Ramadaan, then why is a cinema any different
  • You could absolutely wait.
  • You could go watch it at a Casino ( and be very surprised with the amount of muslims on the slot machines)
  • If you waiting to watch it after Ramadaan, and you're agonising about it at first taraweeh, and cannot contain your excitement about Ramadaan ending. Rather just go watch it when it releases and get it over with. Because you lose not only 2h45mins, you lose all the blessings, because you're never really paying attention in the first place.
Peace out

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

July: 5 Things I love

Stole this meme from Nafisa who listed her 5 things earlier this week.

1.) The colour purple.

In the last two weeks, I bought gloves, a scarf and gown in this glorious shade

2.) Butternut Soup


This soup has to be my pick for winter, from the woolies variety, to the cardamom infused option from from M that I had in Cape Town. My fav way of having still with a dollop of cream, spinkle of spring onion and a piece of Feta.

3.) Living close to work

Before moving out my trip to and from work was 98kms a day, my new place is so close. I wake up two hours later than usual.

4.) Photoshoots - They're like my version of a jumping castles and awesome playmates

5) Confidence

So I figured out, that I know stuff. Important businessy stuff, and that I am awesome.
I have never felt so sure about my skills, than I am right now... tonight...well while typing this out...atleast.


Peace out. Let me know your 5 things.



Monday, July 9, 2012

5 year introspection

I think I have been in a rut for the last five years. I know this because everything seemed dull.
Things I enjoyed doing, food, dance, art everything.


5 years ago I lost my dad, and almost all my efforts were spent trying to fill the gap he has left, in my life, my home, my family and my mind.


I think I have pretended for far too long that it was I was ok. That is was ok to miss him and to get over him. My entire life took a nose dive, my love of dancing, swimming and the outdoors were sweet but left me with a bitter after taste. And I think I have spent these last years pretending that it was fine, that I was fine and that all these things, was proof that I was maturing and changing.


I look at my life now, and after feeling disappointed again, I needed to figure out when I stopped caring about me, my joys and my passions. And I stopped caring when he died. Not feeling was so much better than dealing with the excruciating pain and loss of losing someone so pivotal in my life. 


Of course I tried moving on, and "living" and I look at the colossal fuck ups I ended up making. The painful growing up because I expected people(family,friends and men) to care more about me and the hurt I experienced when they didn't. How could they care for someone so broken? Who couldn't even experience real love and real friendship and who seems to self sabotage herself at every step!


I focussed on things which didn't require affection. And then I moved to C, and for once I thought this was a company, a career path that would finally substantiate my existence. I found unexpected friendships and saw almost the best of humanity. For the first time in years, I began to HOPE. But this time, I believed and loved and I got screwed over. 


Now I have to deal with the loss and pain of it. And potentially that of a friend. Also maybe even unrequited love.



Monday, June 25, 2012

Life's Work and Ambition

A passing comment by a friend this weekend about me, got me thinking about the person I want to be.
We were talking about how cold it was and I had said it was so cold, that my head was freezing from the outside. And she responded with" And that's why I miss you"

After packing to move into the house share yesterday, I found a file I made with all my certificates and testimonials and my sense of humour featured in all of them. I genuinely couldn't care about how rich I get or how successful in my career.

My deepest wish is to make those around me happy. Their happiness and fulfilment was enough for me. Nothing disturbs me more than a friend's suffering that I couldn't ease. I think I will face one of my biggest challenges in the next year with a friend who is exactly in that position and we will see where it takes us both.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Confession: 6 Things about me, that you didn't know

I saw this post on Angels site I thought this might be great way to start blogging again.


1. I have never watched the matrix *hangs head*




I know I am such a weirdo and I actually crushed on Keanu for most of high school, I never understood the hype blue pill schmill  meh. I don't get it.

2. I enjoy Vampire Diaries/True Blood and Twilight

I * obviously* like my men translucent or I have a thing for the bad apples. Judge away




3. I don't like being touched

or I do but there's a level of discomfort for me as I am very ticklish

4. I'm actually very very quiet

I think I was ying and now I am yang. I prefer silence above almost any other sound these days. But I still crave the chaos of noise every once in a while. Which I give in to.

5 .Music moves me


 I don't just mean that it stirs emotion, I believe in giving in to emotion. So when I feel sad I listen to adele, because nothing expresses sadness quiet like her melancholic voice.

Belly Dancing music moves me too, the need to dance oblivious of the audience is very powerful and the ability to just let go and move [is something i don't get enough of]

6. I'm a give-up kinda girl

I give up very easily on myself. I start and put up a good fight. But I always end with a "Why Bother"

So there


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

On Nazir Alli's Resignation from SANRAL

This parody is based on the Aladin Song:

Sing along to : 



Nazir Ali! Fabulous he!
Alli from SANRAL
reflect, show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
His tolls went up without alarm
Then come and meet his spectacular coterie

Nazir Ali!
The Tzar of tar!
Alli from SANRAL
Clever as ten government men, definitely! He faced the galloping hordes A hundred motorists with swords Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Nazir Ali Nazir Ali!
Handsome is he,


Alli from SANRAL

That physique! How can I speak
Weak at the knee
Well, get on out in that square & Toyi Toyi
The Joburg CBD we'll destroy
To gawk and grovel and stare at Nazir Ali!

Nazir Ali!
Amorous he! 
Alli from SANRAL

Your resignation was a sight lovely to see
And that, good people, is why, 
he got dolled up and dropped by
With sixty tolls, fees galore
Packed up: his bears and lions
A brass band and more
 his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers
His birds that warble on key
Please wave to Nazir Ali!


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

apologies

I'm sorry that I let you and me down, by becoming the very thing I hated. Selfish and self-absorbed worrying about me all the time. I am sorry that I forgot how much love cleanses and purifies the simplest of relationships.

I am down hearted because I can't fix it all. Or that I am not enough, but in truth I am down hearted that I didn't realise it sooner.

I am sorry I forgot you my friend, and that even for one moment that I forgot to send thanks, for being greatful for my life, my blessings and my dreams. My dreams were let down and my hopes were dashed, but I didn't mean for it to happen. I got caught up in the superficial moments and gestures of good hope.

No more!

 I apologise to you and more importantly to me, for forgetting who I am and where I come from.

Friday, February 3, 2012

You will be disappointed


Sooner or later, you'll ask for something or read something or expect something and you won't like what you get. You'll feel like I wasted your time, wasted your money or didn't meet your expectations.
Not just me, of course. Everyone. Even you. You will disappoint someone, and the organizations you depend on will disappoint you. Expectations keep rising, and promises keep being made. We keep bringing more magic into the world, but rising expectations mean that there's more disappointment as well.
That's part of the deal of being in the world.
The alternative, I'm afraid, isn't to choose a path where we make everyone happy and always exceed their expectations. Nope. The alternative is to hide, to fail to engage and to produce nothing.
A pretty easy choice.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

All hail the Islamic EFT

I have been following the MJC debate regarding Orion with the same sort of fascination as some one driving past an accident on the road.

I believe I am going to see something horrendous but in most cases there is usually one distraught person in shock and angry commuters stuck in traffic give them judgy eyes for daring to have a bumper bashing on an already over crowded highway. I digress.

I am usually on the forefront of Halaal bashing, and that includes Muslims, their stupidity, forwarded emails and recent spate of BBM broadcasts.

Now give me my moment to to sermonise on my soap box because I have had it with self entitled muslims who think it's ok to throw money at everything and expect it to work.

These are my EFT muslims. I bitched to Nafisa about this in November last year. Never willing to be active citizens but always prepared to donate that R100 towards something else.

"Here's my money, but please don't fucking bore me with all these details about poor people and desitute neighbors and what not" <- This , this right here is the problem with the South African community.

Much akin to the sell-out Dubians. It might be shiny mofo's but its no less KAK.

Now the MJC has pretty much been left to the own devices for far too long and has not progressed in about 50 years. And are definitely not Y2K compliant. I have bitched about it's archaic methods and lack of involvement in every day life, most muslims are participating in.

Here's the kicker though, I have done FUCK-ALL to change this. I have not involved myself or added to the running of ANY of these muslim organisations. I have tried though in smaller ways. Most times I m met with lazy activitism of once again throwing money at things that seem like a good idea at the time but serve absolutely no one.

Now if every other 30 year old muslims [University Educated] I know, loudly proclaims that they want nothing to do with Islamic Istitutions. Makes you wonder, if we are not helping run these organisations.

WHO THE FUCK IS?

The MJC one of the oldest bodies is being fitnah'd about, Slandered, insulted as a daily occurrence on the interwebs and calling for it to be removed. Hold the Phone bitches

My issues are these:

Number one, these are actual people running these organisations and are being funded from the pittance you donate to a large extent. They work fucking hard to get the little that they do and you have the audacity to take his rizq from him. FUCK YOU Lazy muslims

Number 2: You get what you fucking pay for.
Yes you heard me, sub standard payments get sub standard work. Would you do everything expected of you and you get a salary of R1000 a month? No you fucking wouldn't

Deborah Patta is the devil, sent to the muslims through an Israeli Plot.
All I can say to this: Lay off the hashish bitches, it's fucking with your mind.

Every muslim is to blame for the shit the MJC finds themselves in. WE, you and I, CHOSE not to get involved. So we may have tasted the forbidden bacony bits. Get over it. [Probably tasted like Chicken]

Its all about the intention, if we believed it to be Halaal and consumed it. Short of God coming down and saying " Aasia that is pork, do not partake or I shall smite thee" it's probably ok.

Gods out there dealing with Aids and World hunger and you bickering about Halaal statusses of muslim businesses.
Anyone who doubts muslim establishments should just eat at home.

As for me, I will gladly continue servicing MJC certified Halaal business. Because I trust the system more than a silly individual.

And you lot, loud moronic Muslims, either get involved or shut the fuck up.




Monday, January 23, 2012