Skip to main content

The last 2 years

Two years ago today, I instagram'd the moment I walked into my first retrenchment (I didn't know at the time)

Last year today after being told I did an amazing job, I was asked to leave for not being a cultural fit.
Hijab wearing muslim working for company who predominantly sold hard liquor, yeah I figured
But I took the job because I had no other means of income.

Its not lost on me, but I can't tell you what retrenchments does to your psyche, your confidence, your ability to say with certainty. I KNOW HOW TO DO MY JOB

Between friends who gave generously of their time:

  • my lawyer friend who helped me negotiate a package, 
  • my social media friend who gave me some part time work to tide me over, to 
  • the friend who gave me a home so I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent. 
  • To the friend and her family who opened their home and fed me 
  • all of you who helped me and helped me maintain a semblance of dignity. for those friends who made me cry and reminded me that I have a tribe when I felt alone and isolated.

I am blessed that every time a door closed someone wedged it open even just slightly.
 I count my blessings everyday that I know have permanent employment. That I have am amazing group of people who didn't abandon me when life got tough, when the shit got real. I am not worthy of such friends.

I still battle with the feeling that I will never be safe again, or feel secured but I know this much.

Alhamdullilah wa Kafa - Thank God in every circumstance and Barakallahu Wafik to every one of you who saved me over and over again.


Anonymous said…
May Allah reward them, and grant you baraka in all you do. If we could see the true reality behind these trials we'd be so much more positive - despite the stress. Keep striving and one day it'll all be a fond memory...
Aasia said…
Ameen and thank you DL.
You capable, beautiful phoenix!

Popular posts from this blog

What the F**k just happened?

I'm actually so hesitant to post this because I know some people will want more than I am prepared to give, say or do.

But I can't be silent not so much about whats happened, but what I discovered about myself in the process.

The thing that happened:
I usually offer my services in digital marketing for free for fundraisers and people who do community work. So when a local religious (sheigh) leader asked to meet me to discuss a project. I thought nothing of it. I've met with plenty of them to know how to conduct myself.

Side Note: as someone who has recently embraced Hijab, I understand there is additional scrutiny on how I conduct myself in muslim restaurants, especially with local scholars/leaders

Flag 1: said sheigh pitched up in casual clothes and I could smell the cologne on him and could see he had recently shaved and groomed. This made me nervous because the first thing he remarked on was how pretty I was.

Flag 2: he kept asking me, how long I was prepared to stay there …


The beautiful scary thing is hidden away. Its sheer power to change who I am frightens me and gives me bravado to be myself, unapologetically.

Every time I want to take this beautiful scary thing out and show it to the world, I know the world and I are just not ready.

So back into the deep dark recess I keep you there, the beautiful scary thing, where I will visit you often and shine a bright light on you and love you and nurture you.

That's when I realise, its not my job to present the beautiful scary thing to the world. That is for itself to decide. So I sit here waiting in anticipation for that day to come and I can announce to the world.

I have loved you, beautiful scary thing, from the day I met you.