Thursday, March 8, 2018

The last 2 years

Two years ago today, I instagram'd the moment I walked into my first retrenchment (I didn't know at the time)

Last year today after being told I did an amazing job, I was asked to leave for not being a cultural fit.
Hijab wearing muslim working for company who predominantly sold hard liquor, yeah I figured
But I took the job because I had no other means of income.

Its not lost on me, but I can't tell you what retrenchments does to your psyche, your confidence, your ability to say with certainty. I KNOW HOW TO DO MY JOB

Between friends who gave generously of their time:

  • my lawyer friend who helped me negotiate a package, 
  • my social media friend who gave me some part time work to tide me over, to 
  • the friend who gave me a home so I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent. 
  • To the friend and her family who opened their home and fed me 
  • all of you who helped me and helped me maintain a semblance of dignity. for those friends who made me cry and reminded me that I have a tribe when I felt alone and isolated.

I am blessed that every time a door closed someone wedged it open even just slightly.
 I count my blessings everyday that I know have permanent employment. That I have am amazing group of people who didn't abandon me when life got tough, when the shit got real. I am not worthy of such friends.

I still battle with the feeling that I will never be safe again, or feel secured but I know this much.

Alhamdullilah wa Kafa - Thank God in every circumstance and Barakallahu Wafik to every one of you who saved me over and over again.


dreamlife said...

May Allah reward them, and grant you baraka in all you do. If we could see the true reality behind these trials we'd be so much more positive - despite the stress. Keep striving and one day it'll all be a fond memory...

Aasia said...

Ameen and thank you DL.

Saaleha Idrees Bamjee said...

You capable, beautiful phoenix!