Wednesday, January 29, 2014


I am always wanting to write long and meaningful posts like some of the blogs I follow.
But i dont seem to have the ability to story tell quite like they do, skilled writers who can spin yarns and make magic out of typed words and sing songy sentences that leave you in an imagintive snare

But i dont have that and its cool

There is a lot I am good at, and this isnt one of those times.

Everyone keeps asking me what I have been upto, and Im not sure really if its worth repeating, but i hate inane convos but i hate evasive answers even more so

So I get stuck between wanting to be honest and not wanting to bore everyone into oblivion

  1. Gym -  I gym almost 7 days a week or walk the Promenade, Newlands Forrest and once to tokai forrest and maybe attempt the pipe track again soon, unless there is an actual plan being made but yeah. Trying to get strong because I have committed to competing in the Impi in October 2014. So I dont want to kak, die or injure myself badly. Also being diagnosed diabetic I have tried to make better choices and get strong so that I can say I did everything to turn my life around and be the best version of me.
  2. Thikr/Mozlum stuff - as a seeker that I currently am, I dont want to alienate people with my excessive muslimness, and so i tend to shy away from this one completely (its not others business)
  3. Dance: while battling with the point above, i try to balance it out by dancing between salaah times, because the rebelious streak in me is strong yo.
  4. Home: after 6 years of living qith family, I have my own space, and I am a little possesive over it, so I spend shed loads of time just sitting there and zoming out <- best thing I have learnt to do
  5. Yoga - Holy shit, I am that girl -[Een sous sally] it has changed my life but am loving it
  6. Wishful shopping - browsing the interwebs for amazing furniture, creating fantastic rooms and deco and then closing the page because I am broke
  7. Series - Currently on black list, prob starting person of interest, so ya
Epic moments bru!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

living on my own

I have adapted like a duck to water, the fit is just right
and the silence is golden.

Its like living in a Buddhist temple, where as soon as I get home and slip off my work day and clothes.
I get to keep quiet and ruminate

while I am afraid of my own company sometimes, its awesome to have my space, clearly demarcated by the landlord, that for the next year, this is Aasia-land.

I have had many many adventures, while exercising, and socialising and more recently spiritualising.
I am happy.
and while I have no pics to corrobrate, I am happy in my sort of empty space.

The possibilities are endless

Thursday, January 2, 2014

in my mind

I nearly crapped myself yesterday, while the year has just started. I freaked out about what I would have to do this year. and was so overwhelmed by the decisions and big things I would have to do
I cried while walking and i cried while swimming and I cried while doing downward dog, I was too afraid to leave the gym out of a fear that I would just cry if another human approached was a weird 3 hours at the gym

Success is the ability to move from one failure to the next with enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchhill

I want so much more from this year, as the last 2 years is littered with more failures than great stories, and I just realised if I wanted life to give me a break, I'm going to have to punch it in the nuts and make it give me the break. I I have to make my own breaks and I am going to have to work fucking hard to get to where I want to be.

So while i spend the next year getting an identity for myself, and an opinion of my own. I want to remember and practice some basic characteristics I believe I always had, that got  lost in my tenebrous state of 2013.

I want to live a fulfilled life with people, experiences and love & gratitude and thats what I plan to focus on.
Enriching my  life and the people around me. Loving and supporting my friends and family and being at one with the universe (prayer, yoga, nature) <- those things

I am scared at what i have to do, but I am going to make a difference. 
And if you're not cheering me off, get the fuck out of my way or go nag someone else.

because I am choosing to live with purpose.