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Men to blame

No, this isn't about hating men or looking down on them.
But all I have been reading recently is how my friends need to find husbands infact I got an Eid khutbah about getting married.

Firstly how can society put a sell-by date on a womans marriagability? When the prophet Muhammed(SAW) first wife was in her 40s?
Not only that, men, now more than ever refuse to look beyond the surface of a woman to understand her, see her qualities!

If men were chivalrous and treated woman with respect and dignity, most women I know would move heaven and earth to please that man.

When you search for a wife, like you do for accessories around your home, why then gentlemen are you surprised that, that is all she can do is be an ornament!?
Sent whilst mobile


Anonymous said…
I love that line: "When you search for a wife, like you do for accessories around your home, why then gentlemen are you surprised that, that is all she can do is be an ornament!?"

For men, it's true that looks are extremely important. And even though we know, in theory, that that's the wrong criterion to focus on (or rather, focus completely on), it's still the one that can dominate our minds - because that's what we're naturally drawn to.

And again, in theory, we know the importance of searching for those other qualities - piety (most important), character, personality, etc...but for many men, the natural instinct is probably to put those aspects as secondary to looks.

After marriage, however, the story changes so drastically. You see how false that hierarchy really was - because once the infatuation of looks wears off, you're left with a real, live person that you live with and need to make a life with. Not a doll, and not an ornament.

This, I think, is why it's so important for men to really have their priorities right when they're looking for a wife - even if their desires are pulling them towards a different hierarchy. Even if you know the theory, but practically feel different, take the route of the theory. That theory is the wisdom given to us in hadith - in Islam - and once you do get married, you see how truthful it is. How it really is the correct hierarchy.
Aasia said…
Absolutely DL, we talk about faith in theory but never about it's practice. It's unbleievable though at how flimsy the reasons are for marriage these days.

We should write a book "what know before getting married."

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