Skip to main content

For Ridi, Muslim,Taoist, Fighter,Friend

June is a month that has been overshadowed by death and grieving and Ramadaan
As I start coming to terms with my moms passing which has been a carnival ride on its own. 

I search inwards and question upwards. A very good friend Ridwan called me when he heard the news and offered words of comfort as I knew her birthday was coming up on the 2nd of July. He spoke me off an emotional ledge that Sunday night and helped me cope. Nothing prepared me for the phone call on that 2nd July my moms 69th birthday, from Ridi's colleagues to tell me that he succumbed to a heart attack on that very day. Allah grant him Jannah, he was an amazing man and I will sorely miss his counsel and witty remarks about life. We had a pact, that if by 2015 neither of us were married, we would marry each other. There was so much of him I saw in myself. and I will honour his memory by trying to be the woman he saw in me

Ridwan
wonderful
you are following your river
it flows freely when you untangle
and the hard times become good times
eventually
the duality of life
Aasia Fredericks
yin and yang
Ridwan
we have because at time we are without
true
won't know up
if there is no down
the balance is treating both the same
the hard part is to do that
good and bad are just the same thing
being indifferent is the hard part

You are a kind human being
Keep pressing the good fight
It is worth it all

Comments

there's a thing that someone told me once, that life isn't good or bad, it is.

I'm not sure I believe it, but there's a gorgeous swathe of people that help you realise that a part of it can be true, and they help unlock that attitude and acceptance inside of you.

It sucks when they've gone, but it's almost a clever test they offer you: how would I deal with my being gone?

Or something

Popular posts from this blog

What the F**k just happened?

I'm actually so hesitant to post this because I know some people will want more than I am prepared to give, say or do.

But I can't be silent not so much about whats happened, but what I discovered about myself in the process.

The thing that happened:
I usually offer my services in digital marketing for free for fundraisers and people who do community work. So when a local religious (sheigh) leader asked to meet me to discuss a project. I thought nothing of it. I've met with plenty of them to know how to conduct myself.

Side Note: as someone who has recently embraced Hijab, I understand there is additional scrutiny on how I conduct myself in muslim restaurants, especially with local scholars/leaders

Flag 1: said sheigh pitched up in casual clothes and I could smell the cologne on him and could see he had recently shaved and groomed. This made me nervous because the first thing he remarked on was how pretty I was.

Flag 2: he kept asking me, how long I was prepared to stay there …

Dreamlifes Quiz

So while I have been on a downer of note these last few months.
Dreamlife asked me to complete the questionnaire below



1. Why did you start your blog and does it fulfill that purpose.

I wanted to have a voice online, specifically because finding someone I could relate to was so hard. In hopes that someone else stuck between things would find something they could relate to.

I don't know if it fulfills that purposed anymore, and more just a soap box that I can let things out.



2. Whats your favourite post of all time. (your own work please)
http://aasiaf.blogspot.co.za/2012/06/lifes-work-and-ambition.html
a reminder of who I wanted to be.

3. If you could meet 3 people living or dead who would they be.

- My great great great great grandfather on my dads side, An Afghani pathan who found himself in SA and kidnap a norwegian woman and made her his wife. - I need the full story

- Then my  great grandfather mom side, who was an off the boat indian from Surat who took a khoi second wife, th…

Adversity and Adversary

No matter how much I overcome,
or how much I endure

There always seems to be more venom
than there is a cure

I can't keep at it, this continuous struggle that's not real, but my reality
No matter how many of my demons I slay,
I have to fight and fight
new foes, new days.

Ya Allah, why is the first thing that leaves me, is my faith?
Why is that the hard part.

People who usually talk about Tawakkul, don't know anything about
the trouble and struggle of what it is.

What world is it, that we will live in, that allows people to play with others fate
Who don't have the emotional maturity to look for context.
To hate me because Im a misfit.(misfit is the excuse)
Maybe because Im not thin. or don't belong to the same clubs
Or maybe you just don't like a large brown woman telling you what to do.

Maybe you're the douche bag, but now it's me who must fight,
I don't WANT to, but I will HAVE to