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Personal Project 2014: Me

Nothing quite like leaving your support structure in another province to remind you of who you can rely on in times of need.

I wanted Cape Town since my brother got married here in 1993 and begged my dad to let me come to school in the Cape. He was furious that I thought I could look after myself even then.
Then it hit me, it took me 20 years to ACTUALLY make it happen!

Like the ever continuing story of my life, I get what I want with an clause, get diabetes and now go live in the healthiest province in SA.  I digress, I wanted everything to happen now

Work, love, me, money and future to all sort of fall in to place and I realised, it wasn't JUST going to happen to me. No one was going to apply a shiny new coat of "life" to me and make it all ok.

I had to work and work hard. without my my brothers and cousins in walking distance. I had to become self reliant in new ways and had to learn to do stuff on my ace.

and I lamented my loneliness to my Cousin H, and she said " Dont worry about relationships and people, do Aasia, do you" I have always given my time to those that I loved and did so without asking. Here I was miles away and H gave me a challenge, dont find other projects/people to cheerlead. Sort yourself out.

While I am still drawn to making others lives easier, I do so within the constructs of my schedule, I wont be the friend who is always available and always there immediately for 2 reasons: I am not slave and I have things I need to do"

so here is my declaration if intent: 2014 is the year to do me, or atleast just the start.

dont wait for someone to love you (complete you, substantiate you, or affirm your existence)
do it yourself, my most challenging DIY project to date...is me

Comments

Saaleha said…
what's your favourite colour?
cos I want to make pom poms so that I can cheer from the sidelines. Never a worthier cause!

Sometimes taking back a little space for yourself makes the whole world seem a prettier place :)
Aasia said…
as cheesy as it sounds, blue, green and yellow also known as sky, grass and sunshine!

#perfect day
This comment has been removed by the author.
You are the embodiment of your name:) And if ever there was a project manager with serious skills...
Azra said…
Your cuz is 100% on the marker. You can still care for others but its time you put yourself first, second and third :)

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There always seems to be more venom
than there is a cure

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No matter how many of my demons I slay,
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new foes, new days.

Ya Allah, why is the first thing that leaves me, is my faith?
Why is that the hard part.

People who usually talk about Tawakkul, don't know anything about
the trouble and struggle of what it is.

What world is it, that we will live in, that allows people to play with others fate
Who don't have the emotional maturity to look for context.
To hate me because Im a misfit.(misfit is the excuse)
Maybe because Im not thin. or don't belong to the same clubs
Or maybe you just don't like a large brown woman telling you what to do.

Maybe you're the douche bag, but now it's me who must fight,
I don't WANT to, but I will HAVE to