Simply Aasia

Why is it when we care about someone our lives tend to revolve around them. Even in the tiniest bits. I am no longer an angsty teen or a hormone crazed school leaver. The ex has shown up again 3 times now post op. (15 March) and its been fun hanging out at home. Watching tv, chatting. Like a real life relationship without the perks. He has also just moved back home and survived a horrid divorce. he was the dude everyone in highschool wanted, sexy, smart and funny. 14 years post highschool and he makes me feel giddy and exciting. I hope this leads to something meaningful and not justa Mr right now. As for other stupidities. MY name is Aasia- which means I fuck up all the time. [when i say fuck up, I mean make mistakes, fall, break stuff and accident prone. GRowing up my nickname was broken Sara]

its been a tough 1st quarter of the year. Lots of growing up, lots of mending both emotionally and physically from an op (I call it the rapture) But I am hoping with a lots of prayer and excercise that things will heal.

When for that little moment you forget your history and where you came from And Never have I seen my life mirrored so, than in a few specific individuals who keep popping up in my life, no matter the paths we've chosen. It started with 4 Muslims students chosen to attend a private schooled. To clever for our own good and  too driven for poverty. What started at the age of 10 back in 1991 and traversed many many roads. Where our history and our demons have haunted us through our angsty teens and questionable 20's. We seemed to have found our way in the end, our 30th's celebrated quietly with email conversations between us. Will it surprise you that even though we were chosen to get a better education, all of us eventually left  the 1st world educational institution that tried to show us to live beyond colour, race and our humble beginnings. There were no lecturers and role models available for us back then, to show us how to intergrate our religion and the r...

Strawberry Sushi My optimism my hopes my smile Also my dad

Its been a while since I've read a book thats moved me. I picked up this book in desperation on my way to the doc. Oriah Mountain Dreamer gave me the tools to help heal what was recently broken. Me, my heart and my self worth.More than that, the hurt I felt and self flagellation that followed had driven me to a self destructive point. The book, while by no means an answer to anything specific. Helped me to deal with my part in what happened, to take ownership of it, to forgive it and to love the humaness of my mistakes. I sought to make it right with those who got hurt, those who were betrayed and sought forgiveness where neccessary. I also realised that I left my happiness and well being in other peoples hands. As I slowly climb out of what can only be described as the toughest year since my dad died. I find more than anything I want peace of mind, and love for everyone. The dance helped me articulate what I was feeling and allowed me to express what I couldn't. ...

January was a best of times and it was the worst of times. Sounds a tad melodramatic but its true. 1. Losing stereotypes I performed in Azaadville this passed weekend. While I do see why their call it the fourth holiest cities etc etc. The people were warm and welcoming and a laugh at themselves and me. I didn't know what a Kolvid was, I said I thought it was a biscuit (many laughs were had at this) 2. Losing habits To say I have conquered my smoking habit doesn't even begin to describe the absolute happiness I feel at finally being free. I don't know what's made the difference this time. But even though I do sometimes feel the incredible urge to smoke from time to time. I am free. *high fives self* 3. Losing Kg's I have lost just over 5 kgs in the last month, bearing in mind 3 of us were gained because of #2, but still that's  10 bricks of butter that I am not carrying on my self any longer. 4. *Downstairs* health Because of my PCOS i...