Simply Aasia

Today I got punched in the gut, assaulted even though my eyes were open and I knew where the exits were Today I walked through a plan nursery looking to turn my box living into some kind of living space The moment was perfect, the sun was warm, the nursery quiet except for the dripping of water from the plants and I thought you were there and for a moment I could feel you and then the punch  which took my breathe away - my dad was gone See gardening was our job and choosing plants was mine and he made me make the final choices no matter how illogical stupid or what season it was I couldn't breathe the realness was terrifying and the devastation at my reality broke me , and while I sob as I type I know its right, I have never felt sadder Its been 7 years and while I can fill the void on most days I fell into an emptiness for just a moment I cant even buy flowers without you Daddy

Nothing quite like leaving your support structure in another province to remind you of who you can rely on in times of need. I wanted Cape Town since my brother got married here in 1993 and begged my dad to let me come to school in the Cape. He was furious that I thought I could look after myself even then. Then it hit me, it took me 20 years to ACTUALLY make it happen! Like the ever continuing story of my life, I get what I want with an clause, get diabetes and now go live in the healthiest province in SA.  I digress, I wanted everything to happen now Work, love, me, money and future to all sort of fall in to place and I realised, it wasn't JUST going to happen to me. No one was going to apply a shiny new coat of "life" to me and make it all ok. I had to work and work hard. without my my brothers and cousins in walking distance. I had to become self reliant in new ways and had to learn to do stuff on my ace. and I lamented my loneliness to my Cousin H, and she...

I am always wanting to write long and meaningful posts like some of the blogs I follow. But i dont seem to have the ability to story tell quite like they do, skilled writers who can spin yarns and make magic out of typed words and sing songy sentences that leave you in an imagintive snare But i dont have that and its cool There is a lot I am good at, and this isnt one of those times. Everyone keeps asking me what I have been upto, and Im not sure really if its worth repeating, but i hate inane convos but i hate evasive answers even more so So I get stuck between wanting to be honest and not wanting to bore everyone into oblivion Gym -  I gym almost 7 days a week or walk the Promenade, Newlands Forrest and once to tokai forrest and maybe attempt the pipe track again soon, unless there is an actual plan being made but yeah. Trying to get strong because I have committed to competing in the Impi in October 2014. So I dont want to kak, die or injure myself badly. Also bein...

I have adapted like a duck to water, the fit is just right and the silence is golden. Its like living in a Buddhist temple, where as soon as I get home and slip off my work day and clothes. I get to keep quiet and ruminate while I am afraid of my own company sometimes, its awesome to have my space, clearly demarcated by the landlord, that for the next year, this is Aasia-land. I have had many many adventures, while exercising, and socialising and more recently spiritualising. I am happy. and while I have no pics to corrobrate, I am happy in my sort of empty space. The possibilities are endless

I feel pretty 10kgs in 3 months October 2013 January 2014

I nearly crapped myself yesterday, while the year has just started. I freaked out about what I would have to do this year. and was so overwhelmed by the decisions and big things I would have to do I cried while walking and i cried while swimming and I cried while doing downward dog, I was too afraid to leave the gym out of a fear that I would just cry if another human approached me... it was a weird 3 hours at the gym Success is the ability to move from one failure to the next with enthusiasm. - Winston Churchhill I want so much more from this year, as the last 2 years is littered with more failures than great stories, and I just realised if I wanted life to give me a break, I'm going to have to punch it in the nuts and make it give me the break. I I have to make my own breaks and I am going to have to work fucking hard to get to where I want to be. So while i spend the next year getting an identity for myself, and an opinion of my own. I want to remember and pra...

To the man and the father to the nation he inspired to the workers and haters who practiced tolerance saw hate and raised love to the work he did and the bridges he crossed even those who could have burned to the nation he forgave and didn't ask for it to the doors he opened and the ceilings he removed and forced a people to look in the mirror and learn to love their flaws to every child who was old enough to feel the transition and who got to meet him. We're part of his legend. The responsibility is ours to carry forward. Make the difference everyday especially when no one is watching Nelson Rohihlahla Mandela 18 July 1918 - 5 December 2013 You will live forever through love and tolerance